Daniel: , this is the first piece of physical mail that we have ever received from a stu.

Laurel: Yeah.

Nichole: It was only addressed to Laurel though.

Daniel: It's addressed to our house.

Laurel: Yeah. Yeah.

Daniel: With Laurel's name.

Laurel: People think I live here.

Daniel: This is part of her long game

Laurel: oh, I've moved some shit in.

Daniel: Yeah,

Nichole: I know Daniel thought. Your shirts were My shirts. And my socks were your socks?

Laurel: Yeah. All right. Let's see. Okay. All right. Unwrapping this.

I'm really excited about this.

Nichole: I'm wrapping this still unwrapping this.

Wow.

Daniel: Is it, oh, is it a salami?

Nichole: Hi, Laurel and the amateurs. Enjoy your, I don't know how to pronounce this.

Daniel: Is it Reskin?

Nichole: Yes. Is it Reskin?

Daniel: Yeah, it's a

Nichole: Ruskin

flute. Enjoy.

Nichole: Enjoy your flute. Ic. Flute.

Daniel: Flute.

Nichole: It doesn't play, but it sure looks cool. With Love Re all right. Are we sure this doesn't play?

Daniel: Yep.

Nichole: This is a beautiful piece of handiwork. Holy shit.

Laurel: Yeah,

Daniel (2): it's, it is gorgeous.

Laurel: I really wanna play it though.

Nichole: You can't.

Laurel: I know. It's sad.

It'd be cool if this was a pipe,

Nichole: like a smoking pipe.

Laurel: Yeah.

Nichole: I think anything could be a smoking pipe if you work hard enough.

Laurel: If I jam some weed into it.

Nichole: If you're in high school, We made anything in the pipes. In the pipes.

Daniel: The Dremel tool was the holy grail of bong making devices.

And I got one once, like my dad got me a Dremel tool 'cause he was like, oh, you know, I want you to be kind of handy and , shoppy. , And instead I just started converting every single possible object in my feral teenage basement into a bong toy. Of course cement mixer bong.

Laurel: That's cute.

Daniel: Gourd. Like a, like a drinking gourd bong.

Laurel: A drinking Gord.

Nichole: Of course he had a drinking gourd in his basement.

Laurel: Yeah, that makes sense for you. Actually, that makes sense.

What is it the, like necessity is the mother of invention.

Nichole: Correct.

Laurel: Then why do we have personal robots now?

Did you guys see that thing?

Nichole: What?

Laurel: like the first, like at home robot, it's like $20,000 and you can have a, a robot, uh, walk around your house and like shittily unload the dishwasher for you.

Daniel: Can you turn it into a bong

Laurel: with a dremmel tool? Yes. It has. One of its fingers pops open and it's a Dremel tool inside and it can convert itself into a bong.

Daniel: Oh shit.

and then smoke out of itself. It has to complete the triad of the, of the, uh,

smoker, the paraphernalia and, is it the thing being smoked?

Nichole: I thought you were gonna The triad of Smoker Smoker joker.

Midnight Toker Uhhuh.

Laurel: That's my Holy Trinity baby.

Nichole: Um, no, that's disgusting.

Laurel: maybe it was, Sean sent me a funny meme about it that was like, finally you can spend $20,000 to have a roommate addicted to ketamine. And it's just like the robot, like running into the dishwasher.

Nichole: Yeah. That seems like it's way off from perfected. Like why would you? Oh

Laurel: yeah. It's just,

Daniel: It's for people who want to like do a in advance donation to Elon Musk taking over the world with his, uh, cybernetic implant.

Laurel: it just reminded me about something then I forgot about it. I don't know what it was.

Nichole: Remember?

Daniel: And you took a to of that reskin flute. All the thoughts just exit your ears like so much smoke.

Nichole: Remember, remember, remember Laurel?

Remember

Laurel: for some reason that reminded me of Heel Lumps and Woos

Nichole: Close? It's hocus pocus

Laurel: close. Winnie the Pooh, or Bette Midler?

Nichole: Either or

Laurel: I, that sounded like I was making a mean joke about Bette Midler, but I was not. But

Nichole: we're not. We love her. Yeah,

Laurel: we love her

Nichole: so much

Daniel: and honestly, I would love to see her in a shirt with no pants.

Laurel: God, Bette Midler, if you're listening. So just a pick to Poly Amateur hour@gmail.com.

Daniel: I mean, I have a thing for like, , the older generation of Hot Jewish tuss, you know?

Mm-hmm.

Nichole: Whom else?

Daniel: Oh, fucking Barbara.

Nichole: Yes. Okay.

Daniel: Yeah.

Nichole: Whom else?

Daniel: well I guess she's not Jewish, but Liza Minnelli. But, just like, I'll extend my one honorary Jewish token that I token that I do to our friend Anna Uhhuh, right?

Mm-hmm. Like, I'm like, okay, Anna, you're loud and funny enough to be Jewish.

Laurel: Mm-hmm.

Daniel: Liza Minnelli, is vaudeville enough to be, to be Jewish. Like you just get that cred.

Laurel: Honorary Jew. I'm gonna make a, page on our website for. Those. We have crowned honorary Jews.

Nichole: Anna and Liza.

Laurel: Yeah. That's, uh,

Nichole: and that's it.

Daniel: I mean, I mean, Nicole did make that brisket.

Laurel: Oh yeah. Well, no, Nicole's like beyond honorary Jew.

Daniel: cause she's got a little Jew in her.

Laurel: Welcome to Poly Drawer.

Nichole: I'm Nicole.

Daniel: I am as referenced above little Jew. Daniel.

Laurel: I'm Laurel.

Nichole: I'm trying to find, I got this like real agro hinge message.

Laurel: Ooh.

Nichole (2): The other day. But fucking a, I can't fucking find it.

I mean, this one just, it's one of the questions I have on my hinge profile is, what does polyamory mean to you? Uhhuh. Right. Like, I just wanna know what it means. Yeah. , This reply just says, not for me, but I don't judge. And I'm like, then why the fuck did you like

Laurel: Yeah.

Nichole: Connect with me.

Laurel: Yeah.

Nichole: Idiot.

Um, what does polyamory mean to you? It's gross vomit emoji.

Laurel: Like, okay. I get that. There's a lot of like lonely, bored people on the internet and all they can really think to do with their time because they lack imagination is just kind of like rage bait and like, troll on the internet.

But then to extend that to dating apps.

Daniel: Yeah.

Laurel: Like to attach your dating profile to it.

Nichole: That's what I don't understand is that it's like the whole point of this app is to connect with somebody to date with them. You're just taking the time to tell me that I'm gross.

Like why?

Laurel: Yeah. It's really weird. It's like, did I ever, I don't know if I ever mentioned this on the pod, the time somebody,

because my, my profile is like, one of the hinge things is like, what is dating you like? And I put it's like the Spanish Inquisition. Yeah. Which people who respond to it get it.

Nichole: Of course. Yeah. Yeah.

Laurel: But I had some, someone respond, oh my God, I had someone respond.

This is just like a gentle reminder that the Spanish Inquisition was a genocide. Have a nice day.

Oh my God.

Daniel: Wow.

Laurel: I died like I really wish that it was a, like someone making a really funny joke to me. Yeah. But you would have to know me.

Daniel: Yeah.

Nichole: Yeah.

Daniel: and then you responded, right? I think you told me about this.

Laurel: No, I didn't respond at all.

Daniel: Oh, I thought you said, I thought you said, uh, didn't you tell them like, oh, thank you.

Now I will change my profile to I identify as the Holocaust.

Nichole: Oh

Laurel: my God.

Wow. Wow.

Daniel: Which is honestly, that's what my mother's dating profile has in it.

Laurel (2): In another way it does like check out Like for this person who is like culturally unaware, and also needs to like woke scold people. Of course, you're single and on dating apps for Nicole's person, uh, who is monogamous and trolling on mm-hmm.

Dating apps, of course you're single. Like

Nichole: yeah.

Daniel: Did you just call this person culturally unaware because, um, they didn't know about Monty Python?

Laurel: Yes. Yes. But

Daniel: yeah. Good, good. Yeah. I'm glad that we're holding them to account.

Nichole: Oh God. Damnit. I'm not gonna be able to find this.

Ah, found it.

Laurel: Ooh, what is it? I found it. Okay.

Nichole: What does polyamory mean to you? It's an excuse to not have to commit and shows a huge lack of accountability. But also, whatever y'all do, just stop asking me to be a part of it.

Laurel: Oh my God. Oh my God.

Nichole: Oh, okay. So

Laurel: can guarantee No one has ever asked this guy to be a part of it.

Nichole: there's a voice memo like therapy recently taught me.

Clip: Do you think we're gonna know when we die? Or do you think like if we die, like are you hit by a car?

You are you gonna know? Or are we just gonna keep going? Like, maybe this is the afterlife, right? Like we've already died. I don't know,

Nichole: this is what therapy recently taught you?

Daniel: I think this is what I think, this is what I think this is what Pretending to read a Nietzsche book in eighth grade taught him?

Laurel: Yes. Wow.

Daniel: Yes. Like this is the kind of, this is the kind of deep philosophy. That you get while staring at acoustical tiles when you're fucking, like, when

Laurel: you've just smoked a shit load of weed out of your Ruskin pipe.

Oh,

Daniel: yeah. God,

this guy isn't an infinite regressive smoking weed out of himself.

Laurel: Oh, no. She's, she's dug deeper into the profile.

Nichole: I just, I,

this guy sucks.

I want to message him so bad.

Laurel: Can I see his picture?

Nichole: Yeah, he can't.

Daniel: Oh my God.

Nichole: So Stu, just imagine a white guy. Just a white guy, and that's this guy.

Laurel: He looks like somebody who is a lot older than how they are dressing.

Daniel: If, if you turn 40 and you don't turn your baseball cap around like you are just doing false advertising, I better be able to fucking buy some meth from you. That's all I gotta say.

Was it you Laurel, who was saying, it's so strange that people get on these sites, like ostensibly to like meet people and connect with people and that they take their time to do that.

Laurel: To be antisocial. Yeah. To take their time to do like pathologically antisocial things.

Nichole: Yeah.

Daniel: I think that these two things are part and parcel for a certain brand of man. Like ones who are like into like the man brand nagging

Laurel: man

Daniel: brand. Like you know, that like.

Laurel: Oh, yes. No, that does align.

Mm. Right. 'cause I do think that like the vibes that I got from my wokes gold mm-hmm. And the vibes that this guy gives off are very Yes. Are very, please pay attention to me.

Nichole: Yeah.

Laurel: and the only way I feel like I can consistently get attention is by like, trying to provoke negativity There is a time this guy like approached me in the park and was like,

Nichole: sorry, I'm just imagining the millions of ways the story could go,

Laurel: go on.

Well, it's like having lunch with my like coworker friend.

Daniel: And you had your, your sign out right? That said, um, I am a person worthy of respect. Prove me wrong.

Laurel: Yes. Yeah. Well, initially it came up and was like, just being like nice and friendly, but like asking me out. And I like turned him down several times

and then he like switches over to negging me. What the fuck? I was like, bro, are you trying to neg me now?

And is like, uh, yeah, I guess so. Aw. Who was this person? Just some just Joe Schmo. He seemed kind of young like. Twenties, maybe

Nichole: I remember during the pandemic, I kept getting hit on by younger guys because I had my mask on. Oh. I think. And so like, I, they just couldn't tell how old I was. And my eyes are really big, so I think it makes me look younger than I actually am.

Laurel: You look like a Disney princess.

Yeah.

Daniel: Yeah. Yeah.

Nichole: I wouldn't say that, but

Daniel: I mean, but some would, Disney princesses are not that stacked.

Nichole: Earl's got some knockers.

Laurel: They're kind of stacked.

Daniel: Oh yeah. Ariel does have some knockers. Yeah. Specifically and a shell bra.

Nichole: Yeah.

Daniel: Take

Laurel: that multi amory.

Daniel: Wait,

Nichole: what? What, what are you telling them?

Daniel: Oh, the singing. Ah,

Is this time for a

Laurel: beef up? The

Daniel: beef?

Laurel: are completely one-sided Beef. Yeah. Multi.

Daniel: We have to keep everything meat related. uh, listeners expect nothing less.

Laurel: Mm-hmm.

Nichole: Yeah. Yeah.

Laurel (2): DM Sliders beef up the beef. but it's gotta be, you know, like pump up the jams, but it's like beef up the beef.

Daniel: Oh, I'm getting, I'm getting some musical

Nichole: pump up the jams.

Pump it up,

Daniel: So

multi amory, I just wanna let people know they aren't mad at us. Okay.

Laurel: They sent a deceased and desist. That's what Daniel means by, did

Nichole: you just say

Laurel: deceased and desist?

I, I wish I did. That's a

Nichole: threat.

Daniel: The next time I hear from you, you better be dead.

Laurel: Does desist or you are deceased?

Daniel: So there is some interest from the other side of the tracks.

Nichole: Mm-hmm.

Daniel: I think that we are the sharks to their, their jets.

Laurel: Yes.

Nichole: Yeah.

Daniel: Yeah.

Laurel: We've given us the honor of being Puerto Rican.

Nichole: We are,

Daniel: we we're, the Jews we're the Jewish gang from the other side of

Nichole: this. Originally it was Jews and Catholics.

Laurel: Really?

Nichole: Yes. Yeah. And when they first West Side Story, it was a Jewish girl in a Catholic. Boy,

Daniel: And there was a lot more sex.

Nichole: What is happening with multi amory?

Daniel: they think that they can sing. They've told me,

Nichole: oh,

Daniel: they think that they can dance. They think that their musical skills are like anywhere on par with our Jewish Street gang.

Nichole: Okay. Okay.

While Laurel plays a fake flute. Yep.

Daniel: But the question is, are they cool?

Find out next time on poly amateur hour. And by next time we mean months and months in advance. Probably

Nichole: months. And,

Daniel: yeah, because they're incredibly busy and they have better things to do than, uh, like stage fake battles with us.

Laurel: Better is relative,

Daniel: I think you have a decision to make.

Nicole. Will it be a. Crazy sexy polly. Mm-hmm. Or will it be a poly mind? Fuck.

Laurel: Mm. And it'll determine the future from here on out.

Nichole: The future.

Laurel: Yeah. Oh, everything is butterfly effect Shit. Everything will change from this moment forward

Nichole: Let's do I Crazy Sexy Polly.

Because I'm still recovering.

So I took out my partner for his birthday.

Laurel: Oh. I didn't realize it was his birthday.

Nichole: It was his birthday. Happy

Laurel: birthday.

Daniel: Yeah. I, I didn't realize he was your partner.

Nichole: Who is he? A guy that I'm dating.

Daniel: I just like to hear you say partner.

Laurel: It's one of those things, Daniel, where the more you like draw attention to it, the less likely it's likely it's gonna happen in the future. When it's like, oh, your partner, oh. And you're like, oh fine. Well, you're gonna be weird about it.

I'll never call anyone my partner ever again.

Nichole: It's true. Yeah. I won't. So this guy that I'm dating, his present arrived and it was broken.

Laurel: Oh, no.

Nichole: Um, I got him like a globe.

Laurel: Mm-hmm.

Nichole: Right, because he really likes Globes. Um, like a, like a globe of globes

Laurel: are cool.

Daniel: I love this as like a, as like a hobby. Like just, he's just a fan of globes. He just fucking loves Globes. I

Nichole: understand it.

I have a

Laurel: globe room.

Nichole: He doesn't have a globe room yet. Um, next

Laurel: birthday.

Daniel: Have you taken him to the sphere in Las Vegas?

Nichole: Not yet

Daniel: as

Nichole: he seen be like, look at this. This is like a globe

Daniel: big round.

Nichole: You like big round.

Daniel: I mean, this is probably why he's got a thing for you, baby.

Nichole: Okay. so his, his globe present showed up.

Mm-hmm. And I was trying not to read into it as a metaphor because it arrived super broken and like the world had been, was cracked, like, oh my god. And then we went out to watch, uh, the Blue Jays lose the World Series.

Um, and that was disappointing the whole time.

Daniel: Are we supposed to root for the blue Jays? Did the Blue Jays matter? Oh, it's because it was the fucking Dodgers who beat them. Yes. This is why, this is why this is sad. Yes. You are upset for somebody else's joy.

Nichole: Correct.

Daniel: Gotcha.

Nichole: Gotcha. Um. So this whole time I'm feeling like some cramps.

Laurel: Mm-hmm.

Nichole: We go home and we're just watching like, bullshit on the internet, right?

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Like, we really like to watch tiny desk concerts. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I really fucking love Tiny desk. Um, and it's just a lovely thing to just like sit and watch. Like, I just love them. Um,

Daniel: it's the only thing that soothes your cramps. It's like you're imagining the tiny little offices like your womb and there's just cozy music going on.

Nichole: That's the thing is that my cramps kept going. Like, I kept like thinking that I was like getting better, but like,

Daniel: even tiny desk,

Nichole (2): it couldn't

soothe me. .

So it's like close to midnight and I'm like,

Nichole: I do not sleep. My cramps start to get worse. and then I try to get up to go to the bathroom.

Laurel: Mm-hmm.

Nichole: And as I'm coming back, I just faint.

Oh. Like, I just fell And I just remember laying on the floor and, you know, the whooshing sound that happens when you faint?

Daniel: I have never fainted.

Laurel: Yeah. I don't think I have

Nichole: either. Oh my God. Okay. Well I have several times.

Daniel: can, can you make the whooshing sound?

Nichole: I can. It just goes Whew.

And you hear it in your head and like you can't hear anything else.

Daniel: Oh.

and this is different than the bloop?

Nichole: Yes. Okay. so I'm laying on the floor. I'm like, oh, it's so nice and cool down here on the floor. And like, this guy I'm dating comes and like gets me, you know, and he's like, are you okay? And I was like, yeah, I'm fine.

I should be fine. I should be fine. I'm fine.

he like pits me back up and he puts me back into bed about an hour later. I like try to sit back up again. Mm-hmm.

And like drink some water and I faint again. And like the whooshing sound comes back and all I remember saying is the whooshing sound is back. Like, he doesn't know what I'm talking about.

Daniel: He opened your eyes and he's like, he's leaned over you with his mouth next to your ear going,

Nichole: that'd be so mean.

That'd be so mean. This was a

Laurel: shell up

Daniel: to his ear. Ear. He's much more like something that I would do,

Nichole: a thousand percent. Um, so I basically, I was like, I don't know what's happening. I dunno what's wrong with me. I think we have to go to the emergency room. , And so he puts me in his sweatshirt, and then puts leggings on me.

Like my leggings.

Laurel: I was imagining like he's wearing the sweatshirt and he just tucks you inside of it, like

Nichole: cares me with a koala. Um,

Daniel: you're just wearing one complete outfit together. One pair of leggings, one sweatshirt.

Nichole: But I do remember saying like, I don't wanna wear this to the hospital, meaning like, the dumb nighty that I'm wearing.

I was like, I can't wear this to the hospital. So I'm like taking it off, like I'm just trying to take it off. So he like dresses me. Thank God. Um,

Laurel: this is why they tell people to leave their belongings behind in case of an emergency. It's for people like Nicole. I, I can't be stranded on the desert island like this.

Nichole: I'm sorry, I just didn't wanna show up in the emergency room going, hello boys. Like,

Daniel: I mean,

Laurel: I think

Daniel: the

Laurel: not

Nichole: appropriate,

Daniel: it's gonna be like a musical number where all the doctors and orderlies run up to you and they're like, they, they take you in their arms.

Laurel: Uhhuh.

Daniel: Yeah. I mean this is like the opposite of like, don't want to die in dirty underwear. It's like, I don't want to be too glamorous at the fucking hospital.

That's

Laurel: exactly what it's, you're right,

Nichole: you're right. It is the opposite. so he gets me in the car, we get to the emergency room. and they're taking blood and I faint again. I have no fucking clue what's wrong with me. The guy I'm dating is like, well, maybe it's food poisoning because I'm not feeling so hot. And I heard you burp and Ive never heard you burp before.

So I'm thinking like, yeah, maybe this is food poisoning. Maybe this is just the worst food poisoning I've ever had in my life.

Daniel: Now see, this is why you've been worried about what he thinks of you. It's 'cause it's the first time that he's ever heard you birth and he knows that you are not a classy dame.

Nichole: Yeah, that's, yep. Yep. so. they run a bunch of tests on me. , My abdomen starts to seize and I don't know what's happening. Um, but I just keep yelling, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. And like, it's not like I'm the crazy person in the hospital. Like I'm the one who's yell. I I've never done this before.

In you're negligee. I know.

Daniel: This is why you, this is why you bring a Bluetooth earpiece with you is for moments like these.

Nichole: What do you mean?

Daniel: You put it in, then you yell, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. And you're like talking to,

Laurel: and then you, and then you just, and you're like, it's the stock market. It's the stock market.

Nichole: It's China. Don't worry about it.

Laurel: Yeah. Yeah.

Nichole: so I keep yelling and they keep not giving me pain meds and then they finally give me pain meds.

Daniel: Well, I mean, to be fair, you were being a little hysterical.

Nichole: Okay. Alright. Okay. so finally the doctor comes in after running all of these tests and putting me through all these machines and doing all this shit, and they tell me that I have an ovarian cysts that is ruptured and that my stomach is filling with blood.

I'm like, fucking, I was like, I thought it was food poisoning. but I burped. So this whole time, this guy that I'm dating is like mm-hmm. He is there and he's not left. And like, I feel horrible because he's so tired I'm in and out of consciousness. I can feel my body trying to shut down and I can't shut down. And I just see him outta the corner of my eye. Like at one point he's like back against the wall, like trying to relax. He's like pulled his hat all the way down over his eyes so he can like fall asleep.

I think the sun is coming up. I don't know, I don't know anything that's happening. I'm super drugged. I do remember at one point I was asking what time it was and I think it was like five 30.

Mm-hmm. And I said, can you call Daniel? And I gave him, I remembered your phone number.

Daniel: I feel bad now

Nichole: because you don't know my phone number.

Daniel: I do not have your phone number memorized. But what you need to do

Nichole: mm-hmm.

Daniel: Is get a Mulberry frequent buyer account.

Nichole: No, I just put all of my. Mine on Laurel's.

Daniel: I know. And so do I. And that's why I remember Laurel's number now,

Laurel: if anybody else would like my Mulberry buyer number.

Nichole: Um, So, so he called you?

Daniel: Yes. Yeah.

Laurel: Now, could you reenact that conversation

Nichole: for us? Yeah. What happened for there?

Daniel: As soon as I woke up to check the podcast numbers at five 30 in the morning, I saw that I had a text and it was like,

hey Daniel. Sorry for calling you so early. But Nicole had some pain in the abdomen and she fainted in the middle of the night around 2:00 AM burying the lead. Dude,

we came to the emergency room and they're running some tests. They said she ruptured an ovarian cyst.

So then there's a list of things which I, uh, so I, um, I grabbed all the things,

Nichole: yes.

Daniel: , Let the dogs out, throw some food in my face, , arranged for dog care.

Nichole: Mm-hmm.

Daniel: Jumped out the door and headed down to the hospital.

Nichole: I think where the crazy, sexy, poly part comes of it is like, I was never alone.

I was so grateful this person could have just like, stuck me in a cab and said, see ya, you know, but they stuck around long enough to like hand me off to my husband.

Laurel: Out of the sweatshirt, plopped Nicole out of his sweatshirt in a Daniel sweatshirt.

Nichole: And then Laurel came and took care of the dogs. I watched the Dogg over. Yeah, like you came over to the house and like took care of the dogs and, and then when I was finally discharged from the hospital you came over and like worked from home on the couch while I watched Gilmore Girls iPad. I just needed people to be around, you know? And like I felt so held and so taken care of in a way that like, I don't think a lot of people get to feel held and taken care of. And so I was just incredibly grateful.

Daniel: It's pretty glorious. I felt everything sliding into place in this very Polly way. Like, okay, I come then, you know, first thing in the morning and I sit with you all day. Laurel is coming over taking care of the dogs, or a regular dog sitter also, you know, like did an emergency walk and I guess that means one of us has to start sleeping with him now.

Laurel: I already offered at my birthday party.

Nichole: Did you really?

Laurel: Yeah, it was, it was a whole joke. It was all fine.

Nichole: Oh, okay.

Daniel: It was a bit, but Laurel commits to the bit so,

Nichole: or is nothing if not committed.

Daniel: Yeah, it should be. So yeah. And then that moment when we. Me and Laurel were all just sitting in the living room together silently.

Nichole: Yeah.

Daniel: All just parallel play as Laurel likes to say. It felt like the room was filled with love, security, quietness in the way that only happens in Oregon in the early autumn too. We're all just cozy. I hope I'm not making people uncomfortable with sincerity right now. I know, I know.

Nichole: I see the corners of your mouth turning up, floral's trying not to smile.

Yeah.

Laurel: Listen, it's not earnestness and in sincerity that I have a problem with. It's, . In a group setting. I have a problem with it. I don't like to be witnessed. You're

Nichole: gonna have a problem at your wedding.

Laurel: Yeah. But if it's anything like my last wedding, it's, it's like when I perform, I just go into like a state.

Daniel: I thought, I thought you meant you would feel better about it if you, if it was doomed from the start.

Nichole: Wow.

Laurel: Wow. Maybe,

Nichole: Well you can, you can play the voice memos that you wanna play.

Daniel: So I guess this is a known, recurring event when Nicole is on drugs. She apparently says incredibly wonderful, embarrassing things to the point where her best friend was like. Please film all the ridiculous things that she says while she's really high. And to which I responded, if I point a camera anywhere near her, she will overcome all of her pain and stupor and murder me passionately.

Nichole: Yes.

Daniel: To which her friend responded. See, you're helping her recover.

Is it, is it,

Nichole: Nurse number one would've gotten it for sure. Yes.

So yeah,

so I think that's the crazy sexy poll is that like, now what I have to work through, what I have to work through is the guilt I feel

Laurel: for surviving

Nichole: for

Daniel: this is, this is what I'm saying. She's now Jewish because she identifies as the Holocaust.

Nichole: I have to work through my guilt of ruining weekend plans of like dragging somebody to the hospital at 3:00 AM , I have to like, work through the guilt of like somebody checking in on me.

I have to work through the guilt of like. Thinking that like, okay, well this person didn't sign up for this. They, they signed up for, you know, fun, sexy times. Mm-hmm. Um,

Daniel: how do you know what they signed up for? Honestly, I am never just signing up for fun, sexy times when I start seeing somebody. It's like, that would be like being one of those people who's like, no drama.

Nichole: Yeah.

Daniel: Or

Nichole: yeah, you

Daniel: chill vibes only, but

Nichole: like, you know, my experience has been the, like, most guys just want the fun, sexy part with me.

They don't want the real stuff. So it's like I have to like, let this person feel real stuff if they feel real stuff, and like, I'm, I'm trying really fucking hard to like not preempt and not mind read and not like, decide that this person would've just stuck me in a cab. You know? And like I did keep saying like, I made the mistake of like, kept saying I'm sorry.

And he was like, you don't have to say that you're sorry. Please stop saying you're sorry.

Daniel: Well, that's sensible.

Nichole: And also I was probably just annoying, you know, like,

Daniel: I am here for you to talk you out of talking shit about yourself. this is something that's very important to me. I know. I feel like this, this is the one thing I know that I can do to help is tell you to shut up when you start talking shit about yourself.

Nichole: I know.

Daniel: Laurel.

Laurel: Hello?

Daniel: Will you wrestle the knife out of, uh, Nicole's hands too?

Laurel: yes. we should probably do some like, like knife fight training though.

Daniel: Oh, yeah.

Nichole: Yeah. 'cause you don't know how good I am with a knife.

Laurel: Yeah. And also like, you could really like hurt somebody in the process of trying to disarm. So

Daniel: This is, this is Laurel, uh, seconding the notion that you and I should do some couples therapy.

Laurel: No,

Daniel: you, you and me. Nicole.

Laurel: I think you should do some cross la god together.

Daniel: I think that we should go to therapy and only speak in knife metaphors.

It's gonna make it really difficult then for them to not report. It's, it's gonna be like, these people are gonna hurt.

Laurel: I don't know what's going on here, but something dangerous is happening.

Nichole: So anyways, that's my crazy sexy polly.

What's next? What are we doing?

Daniel: What is the meaning of this? Who am I? It's not for you to tell me. I have to look inward and decide for myself.

Laurel: Daniel's vagina, monologue.

Daniel: I have to look deep into my vagina and pull out Ew.

The well lubricated segment of invitation to love.

Nichole: Ooh, sorry. I just,

Laurel: you don't, you don't like it.

Nichole: Uh, considering I just had like a ovarian cyst rupture talking about like, pulling things out of a vagina. That's just

All

Laurel: right. That's fair.

Nichole: I'll give it to you this time. Thank you.

Laurel: That's your pass.

You got one free pass card.

Nichole: every other time, I cannot be disgusted by what Daniel says.

Daniel: I mean, it seems, seems a little anti-woman to me, but you know. I believe that all of this creativity comes from the cosmic womb. But you know, you be, you, your,

Laurel: your, your mother's son for sure. Absolutely.

Daniel: Wow.

Wow. Judgy much.

to my mother, I'm sorry, Abby. You know, like

Nichole: your mother would be the first to dive into that cosmic womb. Are you kidding?

Daniel: She's talking about how she wants to be a lesbian late in life. Oh, really?

Nichole: Aw.

Daniel: That happens to all Boomer women. Once they hit 60, they start considering, should I have been a lesbian all

Laurel: along? Yeah. 'cause then I would still have someone here to take care of me.

Nichole: Yep. so who,

so who are we doing this invitation to love with?

Laurel: We've got a live, we've got another live Stu joining us, which I'm very excited about.

Um,

Daniel: and this is both literal and figurative, as in, we got a live one.

Laurel: We got a live one. As in this time they're actually still. Clinically alive. What all the other ones we have just done on deceased.

Daniel: It's people,

Nichole: well, they sent us deceased and desist letterers. Yeah.

Daniel: It's all that we could get permission to do is perform our invitation to love on cadavers.

You know? 'cause we just do not have the skills necessary

Nichole: to, I thought this, I thought this was a Mormon thing where we were postmortem, like

Daniel: we're turning them poly after they're dead

and we're turning them Jewish because we're, we're like taken back what the Mormons took from us.

Laurel: I mean, to be fair, I think we've posthumously, uh, qualified multiple Leonards. That's true.

Daniel: This is true.

Laurel: Yeah.

Daniel: This is true. This is our, this is our assembly line here.

Laurel: Yeah.

Daniel: Dead Leonards in one end. Polly dead.

Leonards out the other.

Nichole: Okay. But who is this?

Daniel: are we disclosing their name?

Laurel: I think so. I think Sam is anonymous enough of a name.

Daniel: Mm mm-hmm.

Laurel: Yeah, because their blue sky handle is poly am Sam.

Daniel: So they've already told the world. I am Sam.

Laurel: They've, they've already told Blue Sky. At least It's my blue sky. Bestie Sam. Aw. Who also. Did our hot new baseline for us.

Nichole: Ooh.

Laurel: Yeah.

Nichole: Cool.

Laurel: Yeah.

Daniel: So listen up, Stubbert. If you contribute musical parts to our jingles, we will also fix your love life.

Nichole: Yes. Or we'll at least mind it for content.

Laurel: At the very least,

Daniel: we'll put our hands on it in like the sense of like a faith healer.

Nichole: Is this something people want?

Laurel: Put our hands on it. We'll pull it out of our womb for you.

Nichole: Jesus.

Okay. Roll tape.

Nichole: . October one is when we can start watching Nightmare before Christmas and we can watch it all the way until Christmas Day.

Yeah. Of for on which we watch Die Hard.

Sam: Exactly. 'cause it is a Christmas movie along with wrath of con

Daniel: Oh, is there Christmas in Wrath of Con that I, that I never noticed?

Sam: No, it just was released on Christmas, I believe.

Daniel: And Spock is Jesus.

Sam: Jesus. He's Jesus.

Daniel: He dies at the end. Yeah. He comes back in the next movie. Uhhuh.

Laurel: Yeah. Is Jewish right.

Daniel: Yes. Uhhuh is super sexy with his shirt off.

Laurel: Yeah. Yeah. Done and done. You know, like Jesus.

Daniel: I read this whole, book about the use of geometric vectors in early. Art and how they would like point to genitals and shit. If you look at any of this like renaissance art of Jesus, when he is like, all muscular and he is got like this kind of like triangular form and he's like kinda looking down at his genitals and he is got like the loin cloth that's just billowing, you know, like a, like hello.

I am, , a tubes snake.

Nichole: None of us were raised in the Catholic church.

,

But I, I imagine that there had to be some sexual awakenings when it came to viewing the Christ on the cross. Yeah. Right. Oh, I'm, because it's super cut.

Laurel: Yeah.

Sam: Yeah.

Nichole: And ripped.

Sam: He's always very, very attractive.

Nichole: This feels very blasphemous to say true.

To talk about,

Sam: well, I didn't grow up Catholic. I grew up Anglican. you know, deconstructed now. But I did work as a music director for the Catholics for about 17 years.

Nichole: Whoa.

Sam: And so I came in and I'm thinking, wow, I'm, I'm with the guys who started it all. Whoa, I'm, you know, I'm going mainstream, you know, and, back then I used to think, uh, every choice was being made for me, right? So I was like, oh, well this is where I'm supposed to be, so obviously I'm on the right path, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Daniel: that's what JD Vance thought too, when he got, you know, exposed to Catholicism. And when you went into that donut shop, neither was true. So when you, after you were the musical director for the Catholics

Laurel: for

Sam: all Catholicism, I mean, yeah, yeah.

I'm super famous that way. No, it's just one parish.

Daniel: Could you not use. Like a tritone for a while.

Sam: Oh, the devil's interval. Um, uh,

Daniel: yeah,

Sam: no, I, I used it joke, I used it liberally as much as I could, I just hired jazz musicians, um, 'cause I'm a jazz musician and I remember getting yelled at one time by one, very serious parishioner who told me that the fact that the drums were even in the church meant that everyone there was going to hell, like they were firing brimstone. They were so angry that I dared to bring in a percussion instrument.

Whoa. Wow. Yeah. Oh no, I got, I got yelled at all, all the time.

Nichole: Okay.

Sam: All that fun stuff, you know, Sam,

Nichole: so you're in a safe place now?

Sam: Oh, I, I kind of, yeah. I feel that. I feel that kind

Nichole: of,

Sam: well, yeah, kind of. Kind of.

Nichole: Because let's, let's.

Let's, before we get into, reviewing your profiles, and I do think we should choose one platform. I know that you said this Sure. Multiple times.

Sam: Sure. I just, yeah, I figured.

Nichole: Um,

Sam: overkill.

Nichole: I love the smattering. Um,

Daniel: I mean, that's what you say after I

Nichole: Thank you. Thank you, Laurel. Just,

Sam: I just slide on

Daniel: my own

Sam: joke. That

Nichole: was collected

Sam: side. That was, I felt like I was a part of it. That was nice.

Nichole: Um, I do wanna hear very quickly about your polyamory background

Sam: When now introduce

Laurel: yourself. Please

Nichole: introduce

Sam: yourself. Oh, okay. My name's Sam. I'm 50.

growing up religiously and, , all of that, I was quite monogamous, a serial monogamist. , I was with this person for about 10 years with a little block where we broke up. And then we got married after that 10 years.

And then, so then I was married for 20 years. So most of my life I spent with this one woman. And, , we had a kid. I have a kid.

Daniel: it's all right. It's all right.

Sam: Thanks, y'all rude. Thanks for not judging. uh, during the time of that marriage, there was some infidelity not on my part.

and that caused me to, to, you know, after going to therapy, couples therapy and all that kind of stuff. , I just started doing the research. I stumbled onto swinging first. ' I was like, oh, okay, maybe that's what would work for her. And then the more I did it, I'm like, nah. But I don't feel comfortable with that. Mm-hmm. So, let me keep looking. I finally found the term polyamory.

and that sounded right. And, um, so then I did a lot of research. I listened to all the podcasts. I wish yours was, had been around back then because Oh my gosh, would I have skipped to a higher level? No, would've been really nice.

Daniel: We like to think that we offer people the possibility of skipping past the education to the point of just pretending that you know what you're doing.

Sam: Right, right.

And so then we talked about it for a couple years before anything happened.

Laurel: Hmm.

Sam: And then eventually she found somebody that she was excited about. And she's like, I think I'm ready. Which is probably not the best time to do it when you're in the middle of Yeah. Those chemicals. , And so you can predict what happened from there.

'cause I say used to be married. Um, so , lots of learning, lots of growth, lots of failure so we can get better. Right. , Lots of that. but now, , I'm divorced. I've had a couple Bali partnerships. , At this time I'm single. ,

Nichole: that's good to know.

That's really helpful. Thank you.

Sam: Mm-hmm.

Nichole: So for Invitation to Love, we look at people's profiles. And we try to help them

Daniel: We may not be able to help you and in fact, you may be worse off by the time we're done.

Laurel: What dating app do you think you use most or feel like you have the most success with?

Sam: Honestly, I've made more real connections through Pleura.

Laurel: Okay. Interesting. I've never

Sam: used Pleura, but field has been where I've been on the most.

Laurel: Yeah.

Daniel: before you started using Pleura, did you ask your doctor about Pleura?

Laurel: It does, yeah. What is Pleura?

Sam: The basic thing of Pleura is that it's an event app, they show you who's coming.

And I've had more connections just meeting people in person at events and it's been really nice.

Laurel: And do you work for Pleura?

Sam: No, but now I'm thinking the way I'm talking about it, maybe I should.

Daniel: Is pleura right for you?

Sam: You know, it's like, I'm down for money. If they want to help me, I'd be down for it.

Daniel: Let's use field. He sent

Nichole: field, let's do field. Okay, let's do field, let's

Sam: do field.

Laurel: Field is, okay,

Nichole: let me

Sam: And I don't understand field. It's so confusing and frustrating.

Laurel: Yeah. It's, it's buggy.

Sam: It's so buggy.

Laurel: It's so buggy. It's filled with bugs.

Daniel: rubber, baby buggy humps.

Nichole: Okay.

Daniel: It sounded like Nicole was reacting to what I said, but

Nichole: Nope.

Daniel: Not even, not even listening. These are actually noise canceling headphones that she's wearing that are not hooked up to anything.

Laurel: That's a genius.

Nichole: All right, so I'm on your field.

Daniel: let's read through it first. Yeah. And then we'll, and then we'll discuss and look at pictures.

Let's do a

Laurel: dramatic reading of Sam's profile.

Daniel: Do you wanna pass it around like the Seder?

Nichole: I feel like because we have Sam here, Sam can read it in his own voice.

Laurel: Sam, will you do a dramatic reading of your own profile?

Daniel: Sam, will you pretend that you are each of us reading each section of your profile? You don't.

Sam: Oh my God. Uh,

Nichole: you don't have to, don't have to do that.

Sam: I, I'm barely good at pretending to be me.

Nichole: I just, I wanna hear

Daniel: that's a good first line for your profile.

Nichole: Yeah, it's, I just wanna hear like, where, welcome

Sam: to my world of make believe. Start there.

Nichole: That's good. I wanna hear you talk about yourself.

Sam: Okay. Talk about myself in the prescripted form. Uhhuh, yeah.

Laurel: Yeah.

Sam: Okay.

Nichole: Go for it, Sam.

Sam: All right. So it says, uh, Sam 50 Man pansexual.

I'm a solo polyamorous person seeking true connections that include laughter, romance, and novel experiences. I'm also looking for a fellow Disney passholder that enjoys going to Disneyland to share the fun with. I'm hoping to all types of, of connections. Casual, committed, romantic, platonic, undefined. I'm happy going Out just as much as I am staying in. It's the company that matters. I'm always up for deep talks about anything and any excuse to laugh. I'm a musician and I sing and play the upright bass professionally. My hobbies include photography and several fandoms. Looking for someone to go on dates with, have fun and create moments with locally I'm understanding of a busy life.

I'm a single dad with 50 50 custody and have a busy job performance schedule. But I'm a great scheduler and I always, always make time for a connection. I'm a switch and if you know, you know, wink more interested in connection than conquest, let's chat. Also, regardless of what the location on this app says, I'm based on the border between LA and Orange Counties.

And for those who care, I'm six foot two.

Daniel: That was fantastic. That's a really good profile, Sam.

Like it's, it's super earnest. it gives a ton of information about who you are as a person, what you're looking for as far as you, what you want to do, what your creative life is like. Um, I mean, I'm sure I do have notes. The more I think about it, you know, the more it sucks, but

Laurel: Wow.

Wow, wow.

Daniel: if I have like one kind of macro note it's that, You're, you're a pretty funny dude and maybe like the balance of earnestness to playfulness could be tweaked a little bit to better reflect your own, style of, uh, of hijinks and heresy.

Laurel: Heresy. it's funny 'cause I find it very relatable where it's like, oh, I'm open to a lot of stuff and I'm like, yeah, I love going out and I love staying in and I'm open to any kind of relationship, but I feel like. Being too open in a profile it makes it harder, I feel like, for the person reading it.

Nichole: Okay.

Laurel: To see where they fit in, kind of,

Like I realized for myself actually when I was like redoing my hinge profile however many months ago, and it asks like what you're looking for, like the options are like short term, open to long term or long term open to short term.

Nichole: Yeah.

Laurel: Mm-hmm. And I was like, which is it?

Nichole: Yeah.

Laurel: And and I realized that I had to kind of pick my ideal situation

At least I think admitting to myself that I had some kind of

Nichole: preference.

Laurel: Yes.

Nichole: So I think that was the same for me. Yeah. Is that it felt scary to put that I wanted long-term relationships.

Laurel: Yeah.

Daniel: So you're, you're asking for more like specificity of desire.

Nichole: This might be less about your profile, Sam, and more about like

Laurel: therapy for me and Nicole.

Nichole: So this whole podcast. Yes. Right

Daniel: now I feel like this is interesting because we usually, like when we're critiquing unicorn hunters, for instance mm-hmm.

Like our feedback is kind of in the opposite direction of that, right. Is that don't be so overly prescriptive about what you are looking for. Like don't tell

Laurel: me. Yes. But their prescription is, you must have foot six, 130 pounds and

Nichole: eight inch cock.

Laurel: Yeah.

Nichole: Hard at all times.

Laurel: We were describing different kinds of people, but

Nichole: there's a unicorn hunter out there who

Laurel: wants that?

Who wants that? Yes.

For. We're also trusting Sam not to be a douche bag.

Nichole: Yeah.

Daniel: Sam, What is the minimum length of cock? Oh my god. That you're willing, that you're willing to settle for?

Nichole: No.

Daniel: Or maximum. Like is there a specific, is it a, is it a very narrow comfort range between, let's be

Laurel: real and talk about girth for a minute.

Nichole: That's the most,

Sam: that's so you don't wanna be narrow. You wanna talk about girls?

Laurel: we were talking about this with another, uh, invitation to love, our, our stupid had put in their profile. Like something about like, cozying up at a bar or like kissing under an umbrella or something like that. It was very like, , yeah, that fun. Like romantic, romantic, showy.

And I feel like you have a very similar opportunity. You and I are much more on team Disney, Sam than Daniel or Nicole, but

Nichole: like what about Daniel went

Daniel: with you? I went to Disneyland with you.

Laurel: I know, I appreciate that.

Daniel: I screamed like a little bitch on space mount.

Laurel: You did. It was fucking hilarious.

Nichole: Came home with Disney ears.

Laurel: We did come home with Disney Ears.

Nichole: I just felt bad. The minute you said we're going to Anaheim. I was like, oh no. Do you have to go to Disney?

Laurel: And I was like, yes.

Nichole: It felt so bad. I mean, saying that, that other Disney pass holders.

Yeah, I like that. That was great. That's specific and it's perfect. And it, it illustrates for me exactly the kind of person that you're looking for, which is probably fun. and has some disposable income. That shit's expensive. That

Laurel: shit

Sam: is expensive. Yeah.

Laurel: Yeah.

Daniel: Not a lot of like food restrictions.

Sam: No.

They'll have great gluten-free options at Disneyland. Do it? Oh, yeah. Oh, all over the park. You can get allergen sensitive stuff everywhere. Yeah.

Laurel: Oh, okay. Magical.

Daniel: Do you work for Disneyland?

Sam: Not yet.,

Nichole: So

I think that is specific in an, an illustrative of who you are as a person.

Laurel: I know you put some stuff about being a musician, but put the jazz stuff in there.

Jazz is just very attractive.

Nichole: Jazz is incredibly, is it? Yes. Yes, it is actually.

Laurel: Take it from me and Nicole,

Sam: I'll Yeah, I'll trust you

guys.

Nichole: Yeah. We're married to this guy.

Laurel: Yeah. Look at this

Daniel: guy. Yeah. Like you love it when I jazz all over you.

Nichole: He's a jazz school dropout.

Daniel: Yeah. So I'm a bad

Sam: boy boy too. Sounds,

Nichole: yeah, he's a bad boy.

Sam: Jazzy school dropout.

I'd just like to say that this is exactly what I was expecting.

Nichole: Good.

Daniel: you know, I would just like a little bit more suppleness and like personality in it. Mm-hmm. It's, it feels very straight all the way through. Like it's communicating information. so yeah. I just wanna, I wanna see your

Laurel: flirt with us, Sam.

Daniel: Flirt with us.

Laurel: Yeah.

Sam: Okay.

so jazzy, jazzy, curvy, not so straight.

Daniel: Yeah. Like, you, like, like improvise in the profile a little bit, you know? Also tell them that it's a break. Just

Sam: throw in random syllables.

Daniel: Huh?

Sam: What?

Daniel: Yeah. Yeah. Just, uh, just turn the end of every sentence into like a scat line.

Sam: Right, right. Yeah. Yeah.

Laurel: I think there's pic Is there pictures of you in that one with the base?

Sam: Yeah, there's, I think there's one. There's one that's like my favorite one. It's like a black and white one,

Laurel: That's good. That does that does the talking.

Daniel: Yeah.

Laurel: You wanna

Sam: look at pictures?

Daniel: Yeah. Here, you guys.

Sam: Oh yeah. Look at pictures.

Laurel: Pictures.

Daniel: Oh yeah. Well that's super sexy, right? Mm-hmm. Long hair. Yeah. Ceia black and white.

Nichole: Mm-hmm. Upright base. Keep that one for sure.

Daniel: Curled around your base. Is that your number one picture? Is that number one?

Sam: uh, no, the number one is me with the cookie.

Daniel: I mean, that's cute. If you were looking at a sample size of, of these, , losers, I, I think showing that you enjoy sweet baked goods is, uh, is going to, lure them

Laurel: is a plus. 'cause I have a partner right now that can't eat anything and it's a bummer.

Daniel: Aw.

Sam: Can they have almonds?

Daniel: I think it's the sugar.

Laurel: Yeah, it's like sugar and fat. It looks like anything fun..

Nichole: yeah, yeah.

So this is a great photo of you love the glasses, love the hat, love the mug that has like a witty musician, you know, joke on it. this is a sharp, not a hashtag. Um, and it's nice and bright and you know you're smiling. I like it.

Daniel: Now I support the hat. But I am aware that there is a, a huge subsegment of the audience here that will rule out any man in a, , a newsy cap or a fedora, or any kind of old tiny headpiece.

Laurel: mm fedora, maybe. If you're wearing it in every single picture.

Daniel: Mm.

Nichole: Yeah.

Laurel: But if you, if

Daniel: it's like, if it's like, this hat is my personality.

Laurel: Yes, yes.

Sam: Or this is the hat that's hiding the hair. I don't have

Laurel: Exactly. Yeah.

Nichole: So the last three are all selfies.

Do you have any photos of you like, doing activities

Daniel: sex.

Mm-hmm.

Nichole: Not stop hanging out with friends. Something that's a little bit more active.

Sam: Okay.

Nichole: Right. My

Sam: no shows that I can associate with humans.

Laurel: Yeah.

Sam: In some way

Laurel: you can associate with humans and like very up the, angle or distance

Nichole: mm-hmm.

Laurel: Of the camera.

Sam: Mm-hmm. Oh, okay.

Daniel: So come and hang out with us. We'll take pictures of you in social settings, but we'll stage them all really, really carefully. Yeah. So that like, you're like running and like about to throw a Frisbee and with a, with a big , golden retriever smile on your face.

Nichole: Any other suggestions? ,

Laurel: No, because you provided such a fertile ground on which for us to

Daniel: deposit our seed.

Laurel: Seed, yes.

Daniel: Oh God.

Laurel: Yes. Yes.

Nichole: Your profiles in like a really good place.

Um, Did we help? Do we hope

Sam: at all? Oh, now I know I can. Okay, so I'm gonna do all the things you said and then I will tell you what happens.

Laurel: Yeah,

Sam: that's all I want. Send us the

Laurel: stats,

Sam: I'll give you the stats. Um,

Daniel: and yes, do come to visit us.

Laurel: Yeah.

Sam: Oh, I, I seriously, you guys, I'm telling everybody I can, I'm doing my best to do the poly pyramid scheme. I'm, I'm, I'm getting it. I'm doing what I can. I've, I've got a couple converts out there. I'm working on it.

Wow.

Daniel: Yeah. And with this profile, we're gonna get you more laid and then you can poly pyramid scheme them in the old fashioned way.

Laurel: Yeah.

Daniel: Biblically.

Laurel: Biblically, the best way

Daniel: That was such a joy.

Laurel: oh my God. A Maze Balls.

Daniel: That was one of the very best invitation to loves that we've ever done better than for any of these clowns present tonight. Mm-hmm. And I am going to just say it right now, that this is definitely not a segment that we are recording completely separately, sight unseen, which we have no idea how it went.

Laurel: Yeah, absolutely. Yes.

Nichole: Yeah. We're just

Laurel: correct.

Nichole: We're betting on us pretty hard.

Laurel: Yeah.

Nichole: That it went well.

Daniel: What if it went horribly?

Nichole: Yeah. What if, what if they just store, like they shut down their computer, they decide I am Mono m Sam. Now