Nichole: I do wanna return to a thing I just said, how AI is still a problem.

Nichole: It's just a different problem. Mm-hmm. It's the concept of this too shall pass, but it's more like in two weeks you'll just have different problems.

Laurel: Mm-hmm.

Nichole: It's like whatever I'm going through right now.

Nichole: In a couple weeks I'll have a different thing that I'm Yes. Struggling with.

Daniel: And AI can come up with your next life threatening dilemma in a fraction of the time that it would take a real human being,

Nichole: Hey

Laurel: Chet, what should I be

Nichole: worried about this

Laurel: week?

Nichole: Yeah. I don't know that it's life-threatening dilemma. I think that it's my brain just

Laurel: doing what it does

Daniel: yeah, yeah. With me, I can't, differentiate my thoughts from reality,

Laurel: mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Daniel: That's neat. Yeah.

Laurel: This one neat trick, obsessive compulsives don't want you to know about

Nichole: we were talking about somebody who's going to be a guest over at our.

Nichole: Regular Star Trek night. , And Daniel just offhandedly said, yeah. And he might be like, potential roommate material for Laurel. And I immediately just put my phone down and just looked at Laurel and nobody trusts me to pick a roommate. It's not that I, it's not, it's not that I don't trust you.

Daniel: This guy seems really nice.

Daniel: He has changed roles and identities rapidly. , So it was like the guy I knew from college. Oh. And then he is like, guy I went on a date with then it's like not dating anymore, but he might move in.

Laurel: Yes. It was a rapid fire thing. . , we reconnected because he found me on Hinge. Yes. And then was like, oh shit, we went to college together.

Laurel: Mm-hmm. And then so we went on a date and gossiped about college and brought up names neither of us had thought about in a long time,

Laurel: so that's fun. Anyways. Yeah. We, he is exploring his non-monogamy journey. We're not on the path of doing that together. ,

Nichole: So he might move in. Yes. Okay. I feel like you don't actually pick roommates most of the time. They pick me. They pick you. This is true. So like, you just are generous with your space Yes. I think people in the past have taken advantage of that.

Laurel: Yeah. I concur. I feel like this, uh, this is intersecting with the comment you made about, oh yeah, my problems in two weeks will just be different problems,

Laurel: which is sort of like the journey I've been on with trying to find better cohabiting mm-hmm. People where it's like, okay, that didn't work out, so I need to be more clear and upfront about X, Y, and Z. And then I do that. And then it's like, oh, okay. But I also needed to be more clear and upfront about what are than other letters in the alphabet A, B, and C.

Laurel: And so I feel like, I keep iterating on Yes. The better roommate.

Daniel: Have you considered asking AI to generate a roommate?

Nichole: Please

Laurel: don't. No. I will not waste that much water.

Daniel: Yeah. If you had a room, if you had a roommate who moved in and was just like leaving the fucking the shower on for like, four hours at a stretch, like they're out of there.

Laurel: Yeah, exactly.

Daniel: Exactly. Welcome to Poly Amateur Hour.

Laurel: I'm Laurel, I'm Nicole,

Daniel: I'm Daniel,

Laurel: and I'm make, I'm making better choices today. Doesn't mean they're good choices, but they were better than yesterday's choices.

Nichole: I think you're making a choice again. Okay. No, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying. Again, people chose you.

Nichole: Yes. This time

Laurel: you

Nichole: get to be

Laurel: a little bit more Yes. Discerning. And we, we are doing a trial period.

Nichole: Love it.

Laurel: Right. Where it's like, love it.

Laurel: We'll see. We'll see. Maybe we should start a new segment that's just like roommate, watch

Daniel: laurel's, roommate watch. We have a new roommate that moved in and didn't work out every week. Yeah. Aw. Is it me? Is it them? Who knows.

Laurel: There's only one constant in that equation. I know. And that's the thing that keeps like driving me crazy.

Nichole: But my therapist did say, because. You know, I'm listing all the shit that's going wrong in all of my relationships, and I'm like, I am the constant.

Nichole: And she's like, no shit, Nicole. Of course you're the constant. That's the whole thing. That's the nature of existence. That really is.

Daniel: Everything that happens that's wonderful in your life or in the world then would also be your, responsibility.

Daniel: That was by this logic,

Nichole: that report as well

Daniel: I had something. It's true. I had, I had something good happen. What? Yeah. It's a crazy sexy poly.

Laurel: Oh, nice.

Daniel: last time on. Daniel and Laurel make plans for illegal marriage.

Laurel: Oh God.

Daniel: So

Daniel: I started recently getting more conspiratorial about how I might actually have a little proposal I think what I asked you, Laurel, is would you mind terribly if I actually proposed?

Laurel: I forget what my answer was. I was like, I wouldn't mind terribly. It is a Jewish shrug.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Laurel: that's my second Jew superpower.

Daniel: so, the crazy sexy Polly part of this is that, , Nicole helped me figure out the process by which I was going to do this.

Daniel: The secret plan? No. Which we set in motion. The first thing you gotta know is that the ring I got is like a vintage, , from the sixties charell mushroom ring filled with like little pearls.

Laurel: It's like a mushroom bird nest of

Daniel: hummingbird eggs.

Laurel: Mm-hmm.

Daniel: Which is my pet name for you.

Laurel: Mushroom bird nest

Daniel: filled with hummingbird eggs. So the , first plan I was gonna invite you out in mushroom picking, and then pretend that I found the ring where like chandre should be, and Nicole's like, Hmm.

Daniel: That's kind of suspicious. While all of a sudden are you like nature Jew,

Nichole: You've never expressed a desire to go mushroom hunting. Yeah. Yeah. The fact that you called it mushroom picking is like

Laurel: our first clue that something's off here.

Daniel: Next I was gonna like, kneel to go down on you. And then instead of pulling a vibrator out of my bag, I pull out the ring and Nicole just said,

Nichole: Oh God.

Daniel: Yeah. , And so finally, , my friend, , Stubbert came over and brought , , some mushroom gummies in this little cute little, , magnetic box. Then Nicole is like, oh my God, you could put the ring in that. Oh,

Nichole: mm-hmm. I was like, oh, you could just stick the ring in the foil wrapper

Daniel: So, I like. introduced the box into , our awareness by being like, oh, I used some of your chocolates earlier, now I'm bringing you these gummies.

Daniel: And then I put them in her drawer, so they're in the house. Then I come over and I'm like, oh, okay, we're gonna go out to dinner. , You know, maybe we can go to the club afterwards. And, , by club I meant sex.

Laurel: Wait a second, because I like the idea of, saying club as a euphemism for sex instead of just going to the sex club.

Laurel: Yeah. You mean the sex club, right? Yeah.

Daniel: Yeah. My, my brain is, reorganizing the words and putting them at a sentence place in wrong, so. Okay. Okay. I'm like, okay, let's take these gummies with us.

Mm-hmm. And then

Daniel: I sneak the ring into the gummies so she knows that I've got the box. Mm-hmm. There's nothing suspicious about the box. I've been naturalized to the box. It's like, showing the dog, the stethoscope,

Uhhuh. Yeah. You know? Mm-hmm.

Daniel: So then we go out to dinner.

Daniel: Mm-hmm. , Then take a walk. We find this cute little, like, wooded, alleyway in these like Pearl District condos.

Laurel: Yeah. It was like a little courtyard

Laurel: mm-hmm.

Daniel: I'm walking along and I'm like, oh, if we're gonna take these mushrooms, we should probably take them now.

Daniel: And I remove the box. Mm-hmm. And then I, I just open it and I'm like, oh, what is this? Oh. And then I,

oh my God.

Daniel: And then I, and then I drop uhhuh to my knees Uhhuh and go down on you.

Nichole: The drop to my knees sounds like a stella moment. That's not what happened.

Laurel: No. Right. Okay.

Laurel: If you said, oh, what's this? I did not hear it.

Laurel: So Laurel, what happened? Everything is true up until that point. , , open the box. like, I see that there's like a ring in it, but it's like, it's since it's not like a traditional engagement Yeah. Style ring. My first thought was not like, oh, I'm being proposed to Yeah. Right now. I was like, oh cool.

Laurel: What's this? Yeah. Did stupid leave a ring in here? And then you slowly descended onto one knee mm-hmm. And took the ring from the box. And I don't actually remember what you said.

Daniel: It was very slow motion. I would, 'cause my knees are bad, so I have to go down slow.

Laurel: Yeah. You asked me to marry you.

Laurel: And I think I just said, , yes. You dummy. Fucking get up, get up already. You're embarrassing me. And then you put the ring on my finger and then you got up and we hugged and kissed. And then I noticed, , while we were hugging that, , there was a bunch of people standing in the window above me

Daniel: of the condo.

Daniel: Oh my God. And they're all like,

Laurel: so sweet. Cheering. Cheering, and hooray. I see one of them has their phone out and they're taking pictures. , And so I'm like waving and everyone's giving thumbs up and then one of them runs down, comes out of their front door with a.

Laurel: Box that has a bottle of champagne in it.

What?

Laurel: And he just says Congratulations. Like how have some champagne to celebrate.

Nichole: Holy shit. It's like you planned this.

Daniel: Yeah. Whoa. And he's like, let me send you these pictures that we took.

Laurel: Yeah. Like, I didn't catch the kneeling part, but I did take some pictures. So then he like sent Daniel,

Nichole: you made their night? Yeah, it was, they were having a boring ass dinner party , One of half of the couple was trying out like Peruvian cuisine.

Nichole: She's like, I think I can make this. And all the guests were like, oh, this stuff, this is kind of okay. But , this couple has great wine. So I, yeah, we'll just stick around. And then one guest saw you guys out the window and was like, come quick, come quick. And it saved the dinner party.

Daniel: And saved their marriage.

Daniel: So now we're like totally dazed, like just wandering through the Pearl District because we had this wonderful moment of Love Connection, And then we're wandering around and then, , we're like what do we do with this bottle now?

Daniel: I say, maybe we should find someplace that does a corkage, we come up to this, , champagne bar.

Nichole: Jesus Christ guys.

Daniel: Yeah. Like that's what it is. And it's called. Fancy baby.

Laurel: Oh my God.

Laurel: Okay. And yeah, just as champagne in the large lettering down the side of the building.

Laurel: The people, at the bar and they were very sweet and congratulatory and they're like, oh, we just saw you at Omaze. Like they were there too. What? Like, oh, we just saw you guys. Actually, that lends more credence to the fact that they might be non-monogamous if they saw us and we're checking us out.

Laurel: Oh, was that the theory? After, after? Did you guys

Nichole: like

Daniel: wait a minute. Is this a

Nichole: poly and public invasion of invasion of pro privacy

Laurel: So there's this other couple at the bar and then a single woman at the bar. , And so yeah, we chatted with them when they opened our champagne. We like shared it with everybody at the bar and the bartenders and stuff. And the poll in public part was, there was a certain point at which we're like, wait, is this couple hitting on the single woman?

Laurel: Like, oh, not in like a gross way, just being like super chatty. Yeah. And friendly and. Uhhuh Daniel's, like, do you think they're trying to bring her home with them?

Laurel: It's like maybe Uhhuh

Daniel: to make it extra, not creepy. , I think that , the single lady,

Daniel: I think that she was giving off just as much of the, please bring me home energy, if not more. , and then when we said goodbye, , the woman from the couple mm-hmm. Is like, you two are lovely,

Laurel: Yeah. And then you responded in likeness. You were like, you two are very attractive too.

God.

Nichole: Well, congratulations. Thanks.

Daniel: Thank you.

Nichole: Thank you for taking my advice. I will say,

Nichole: okay, your proposal happened Saturday night in front of other people who were cheering you on. You get free champagne, you go to a champagne, a random champagne bar. Everyone is so excited. Daniel asked me on a Thursday afternoon and then I had to go back to work.

Nichole: Yeah.

Laurel: What I'm hearing, I just think it's really funny. What I'm hearing is one, everyone needs to practice several proposals. Yeah. Apparently. Yeah. Two. Two. You'll do it best if you have your wife advising you.

Daniel: I thought of having it just on some kind of like average, afternoon with you, Laurel. Mm-hmm. But what I realized if you're just at home and we don't have plans to go out, you're gonna be too sleepy.

Laurel: That is true. That is true. If you haven't already.

Laurel: Like what? Like carded me out in the world. She's gonna,

Daniel: I'm just gonna fall asleep in the middle of the proposal. Yeah,

Laurel: that's what I was

Daniel: thinking. You're just gonna be all blinky, you know,

Laurel: I, I'm sorry,

Daniel: what? What, what?

Go to bed.

Laurel: Yeah, sure. Whatever. Sure. That's neat. Thanks boo.

Daniel: so what a kickoff for this episode, huh? Yeah. Mm-hmm. And you think it was all generated by ai?

Daniel: this is also a very special episode because we have an amazing guest coming on.

Daniel: Yeah. So

Laurel: excited. I'm excited.

Daniel: This is the first comedian that we will have on the podcast?

Yes.

Daniel: And not only is she a comedian.

Daniel: She is

A really fucking big deal comedian Dalia Bell, who was on Hannah Gadsby's gender agenda on Netflix and is an organizer of the Portland Queer Comedy Festival

,

Daniel: We went and saw Dalia a few nights ago she was fucking amazing.

Daniel: Yeah. She was the headliner. Hilarious.

Nichole: Yeah, it was great. I stayed up past 9:00 PM to see her. Yeah. I did that and it was worth it and it was way, fucking worth it.

mean, she's not just Portland funny, she is internationally funny and just an incredibly kind and wonderful person because she has deed to come on this shit show of a podcast.

Daniel: So, , without further ado, 'cause we already, uh,, did a lot Ladies and gentlemen, our episode with the fabulous Dolly Bell.

Oh,

Dahlia: I promise I do behave sometimes

Laurel: But why would you start now? Yeah, yeah, exactly. This is not, this is not the time nor the place.

Daniel: we are, really happy to have somebody on the podcast who, you know, is not, , an educator at Oh, no. Yeah.

Laurel: Because every other guest we've had on . Is some kind of like educator or offers like peer support or, , runs a nonprofit. I mean, I'm, I'm

Dahlia: similar. I don't make any profit either.

Daniel: Amateur, nonprofit. Yeah.

Laurel: Yeah. I just, I appreciate, uh, we don't have to worry after the episode that it got too serious. Oh yeah. No, that's

Dahlia: not about

Laurel: to

Dahlia: happen.

Daniel: The trigger warning is your name on the episode. Yes, exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Anyone

Dahlia: who knows will know.

Daniel: Yeah.

Laurel: And if they don't know, they will find out. Yeah.

Daniel: You're in for a treat or something. I was thinking about . Your bidet material? Oh, yes. The day. Oh yeah. Because Laurel has one of those transcendent bidets. Good. I only really, really feel enthusiastic about taking a shit now when I'm over there.

Daniel: you know, it's got The days will change your life. Yes. Yeah. Yeah.

Laurel: You also have a seat warmer. Oh my God. Yeah, it's, yeah, it's

Dahlia: a whole thing. It's a whole thing over there. Sadly, I don't have any electrical outlets in my bathroom.

Daniel: That's the problem that I'm having too. Yeah.

Dahlia: That's why I have the cold water the day.

Daniel: Yeah. I've had like, amateur electricians that I can afford come over just to see if I can get power.

Daniel: Yeah. To up the day. I'm like, I need a fucking outlet. Yeah. There

Laurel: I'm just like, imagining you with an electrician just like jonesing for a bidet and you're like, come on man. Come on. Tell me I can have one. Yeah.

Dahlia: To be fair, the heat of bidets are, quite a lifestyle distraction. Like, I don't know that I would get anything done.

Dahlia: I would never leave, like I'm already anti-social as is. I would,

Laurel: It is one of the greatest like compliments that I receive in my life is when people are like, oh, I love your bathroom. Like I don't need people to come and socialize with me. I just need them to come and use my bathroom.

Laurel: Yeah. And then tell me how much they enjoyed the experience

Dahlia: and have their booty hole aqua kissed Uhhuh. Yeah.

Daniel: It is the bougie geest like thing that is in your home, I think too. And it's interesting. That's, it should be the bougie thing in anyone's home. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hopefully.

Dahlia: Yeah. Whatever you're blowing your life savings on, make it a fancy bidet.

Dahlia: Yeah. Yes. It's

Daniel: the center of my life. Yeah, exactly.

Dahlia: Your booty holds the first thing that forms in the womb, so

Nichole: is that true?

Dahlia: Yeah, it really is. Yeah.

Dahlia: This is the one educational moment I'm gonna share with you. I only found this out a few years ago, but Yeah. Literally the first thing that develops you, you're just a little donut. Just a little booty hole that gradually extends to also like have the mouth and then everything in between the mouth and the booty hole and then the rest of you forms around that.

Laurel: I think this is a missed opportunity for pro-life billboards.

Yeah. Just a booty hole. Yeah.

Dahlia: At two weeks you are a booty hole

Laurel: hole.

Dahlia: Yes, I'm here for

Laurel: it. Yeah. Wow. This 13 weeks heartbeat. Bullshit. I wanna know when the booty hole

Dahlia: comes. Yeah, exactly. That's first.

Daniel: Could that bring me around to the cause where I'm like, I don't wanna kill a booty hole. Yeah. Just when it's starting to open

Laurel: God. Changing minds and hearts. A poly amateur hour. Yeah. That's amazing. Yeah.

Daniel: We have, , brought you here mm-hmm.

Laurel: Wait, can we ask Dalia about herself a little bit first?

Daniel: Do we

Dahlia: have to fine?

Laurel: You don't have like,

Nichole: I am curious. Okay. Because it's one, it's one of my favorite things is, , hearing about people's polyamory journey. Oh. How they. Got there.

Dahlia: oh God. You're gonna make me be serious and sincere for a moment. Okay.

Daniel: You ready to start your nonprofit?

Dahlia: Yeah, exactly. , So the actual story for me is that I am mostly Ace, um, despite what people think. And I think this is only the second time this has ever come up, but I'm mostly Ace, I'm gray ace.

Dahlia: My polyamory is mostly because I fallen in love with my friends on kind of a routine basis, and I didn't want that to get weird for people. Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Dahlia: and it did, with like truly monogamous, monogamous, , what's the word for it? When you want ownership over somebody, possessive people.

Dahlia: Yeah. They would get weird about it. Yeah. so I'm like, okay. I'm clearly not actually monogamous technically 'cause I just stay in love with people. Mm-hmm. I don't actually fall out of love with anyone. Like, I don't have Xes, I have people who exist in different contexts of my life. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. , And then my first relationship after my divorce was with someone who is very hypersexual.

Dahlia: And again, I'm ace, so I'm like, if you need to go get your back blown out by somebody, I'm not going to do that Uhhuh. 'cause I'm an asexual bottom. So you're gonna need. To shop around and I respect that and I get that and I support you in that journey. , And then my next partner after that, we were openly and knowingly polyamorous.

Dahlia: Mm-hmm. Because they're married. Yeah. To someone else, but their wife was, , med school, like a grad student,

Uhhuh,

Dahlia: so never around. And what I also didn't know about med school is that they just send you to jobs. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. They're just like, congrats. You now need to move across the country. Yeah. And never see your spouse for six months.

Daniel: Yeah. Here's your partner in Kansas. Exactly. Yeah.

Dahlia: You know, we were primarily activity partners and it was just understood. I'm like, you have a wife that is. Your primary commitment. That's dope and cool, and let's go to playgrounds from time to time and play on swings. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Uh, that sort of vibe.

Dahlia: So that's really kind of my polyamory journey. And also for me, I guess polyamory, consensual, non-monogamy. I don't want to tell anyone what to do ever. Yeah. Yeah. It's just not my vibe. Yeah.

Yeah.

Dahlia: So if my, if someone I love wants to do other things or other people, I don't see how that's any of my business or concern.

Nichole: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Oh, that's fascinating.

Daniel: It gives me very warm feelings. My heart and booty hole are, are opening. Yes. , laurel, and at this point she may have completely made up this canoe quote. Uh,

Nichole: but sorry, we didn't fact check. I

Daniel: didn't, we didn't fact check.

Daniel: Oh, never fact check. But it's that, um, that we lie to ourselves twice about partners. , First when we get together with them that they're most the most wonderful thing in the world, like new relationship. Oh yeah. I

Dahlia: hate that. I hate the honeymoon phase. Yeah. Yeah. It's the worst. Yeah.

Daniel: The second half I think really only applies to people who are.

Daniel: Doing serial monogamy mm-hmm. , Is that we lie to ourselves twice where we're like, tell ourselves all the awful things like that this is totally wrong, so that we can feel like we can peel back and fall out of love. So, no, this person is now wrong. The next person is now, right? Oh,

Dahlia: yeah,

Daniel: yeah, yeah.

Daniel: And I, what I love about your definition of polyamory for you is that like you don't fall out of love. Like it's just this cumulative thing, right?

Dahlia: I don't have convinced myself that someone is a monster.

Dahlia: Yes. So that I can fuck up a new person's life. Yeah. I can just fuck up multiple people's lives simultaneously. Yeah. Maybe that's

Laurel: the new definition of polyamory. It's not like. Multiple concurrent romantic relationships. It's like concurrently fucking up many people's lives. Yeah, exactly. With everyone's consent.

Laurel: Yeah. We can all

Dahlia: consensually mess up each other's lives together.

Yes.

Daniel: And you get, Poly points for how much damage you inflict.

Laurel: Should, should do. We all need to like carry like a little magic, the gathering card that has like our stats on it? Yes. Yeah. Yes.

Dahlia: Each partner just hands you an index card with the thing you've done wrong in it. And that just gets added to your deck of powers. Yes, yes, yes.

Laurel: And

Dahlia: then like in a new relationship. If you notice that you're about to do something awful, you can hand them the index card. Oh, yeah. And be like, I know. I know, I know. Or if they yell at you about it, you're like, I know, I know. I know. This is also gonna happen though. This is how I'm gonna respond to you calling me out on it.

Dahlia: And this is also talks,

Daniel: Is this the beginning of our, , tabletop role playing game? Uhhuh? It sounds amazing. Yes. Polyamory the game. This is good. We actually have a gamified version of a certain segment that we do. Ooh, ooh. Yeah. Yeah. In fact, it happens to be the segment.

Daniel: We have invited you here to participate in

Dahlia: Ooh, I love participation.

Laurel: It's, we, we have ribbons for it and everything. Yeah.

Daniel: , This segment is called Unicorn Hunter Hunters. Ooh,

Daniel: We have a bingo card for it. Okay. Beautiful. So those people at home can, those people at home can play along

Daniel: We were, inspired even before we started this podcast of the grandeur and grotesquery of the unicorn hunters. And so we have this segment where we. Search out the cream of the cream and I don't like that.

Daniel: And yeah, we don't

Dahlia: either. I mean, it does describe my lifestyle overall, but,

Dahlia: It sounds gross when you say it out loud. Oh,

Daniel: this whole thing is gonna be gross as we say it out loud. Okay's also. So we're looking for

Dahlia: the cream of the semen container.

Daniel: This is, this is, could also be our, our new tagline poly amateur hour.

Laurel: It's gross. When you say it out loud, say

Daniel: it out loud. So we search for the most unicorn hunter, unicorn hunters, and we rate them on three categories. Yes. Self-aggrandizement. Ooh. arbitrary rules and. Would we unicorn for them because despite the fact that we are repelled sometimes, we are also sometimes

Laurel: my inner demon.

Dahlia: Yeah. Yeah. The part of me that goes on Grindr every few months. Yeah, exactly.

Daniel: , Just in case you needed more evidence on as to why to remain asexual. Yeah. All right. And I found a doozy. I really put my mind to it to search for one that would scar you permanently. Oh, good, good, good. Yeah. For today.

Daniel: Okay.

Daniel: Okay. You're already, this is a good sign. I'm just trying to decide.

Daniel: 'cause one of the worst parts of this profile is the opening where he gives his handle on x. Oh, that solid. And the handle solid is so bad. I'm just gonna do it. He's never going to listen to this. Yeah, exactly. All right. All right, so first line dat big daddy X on X and uh, white. For the record, dat dat big daddy X, X on X, and he's calling it X

Daniel: X is the one thing which I am like we need to continue to dead name it. Oh yeah, absolutely. Twitter. Absolutely. Yeah.

Laurel: Oh wait, I'm just figuring out 'cause it's at Big Daddy x. And the rest on Twitter. On Twitter, yeah. Yes. But it's not part of his whole handle because

Dahlia: that's, thank you. That's how I was hearing it too, and I'm like, that's wild. To include the website that it's the profile name for. Yeah.

Dahlia: This is just big daddy X. That big Daddy X, big daddy. Daddy X.

Daniel: Not a big Daddy X. Yeah, it's, it is, it is a, that specific one. Okay. Definite, article. Okay. Alright. Politics in profiles is a huge turnoff for us.

Laurel: This is

Dahlia: gonna be good. Yeah. What I love is that he's already stating what his politics are in that statement. Yeah, exactly. Exactly, exactly. Yeah. Yeah.

Daniel: All right. Face picks are mandatory, uh, excuse me, that had an exclamation point. Face picks are mandatory.

Daniel: If we match and you don't have one, please send one in the first message. Or we unmatch. Okay.

Christ, why didn't you

Daniel: match in the first place? Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. Like that was a choice you already made. Yeah. maybe the torso, is too attractive to turn down and it's like 80% torsos on like when I match

Dahlia: with a big dick on Grindr, I know that I just expect more dick pics.

Dahlia: Right. Yeah. That's why I signed on to Grindr in the first place. Yeah.

Nichole: But don't act like it's the other person's like that. They're doing this affront to you. Yeah. If you have already made the choice to swipe right on that. Yeah. They told you what

Dahlia: they were offering.

Nichole: Yes.

Dahlia: And you said, yes, I want that

Daniel: torso.

Daniel: And they're like, he's totally shocked when he finds out they have no head, no arms. Yeah, no legs. Yeah. When it's just like a, you know, the sex torso with a

Laurel: sex torso? Yeah. You've

Daniel: seen these rubber. These rubber. You've seen a sex torso. Just a torso. Or maybe it's just usually the pelvis. Yes. Like the, it's usually

Laurel: just the genitals, not the torso.

Laurel: You know, some people are into weird things. This is true.

Dahlia: Do you remember the vij?

Laurel: The vj?

Dahlia: Yeah. No, yeah. It's just a foot with a vulva in the top.

Daniel: Oh, in

Laurel: the

Daniel: top?

Dahlia: Yeah. The vij. The pussy's in the ankle. And you just fuck a foot.

Daniel: I'm imagining like mashed up with ling too, where it's like a, a sparkly foot with Ooh.

Daniel: That's amazing. You can

Laurel: do that. They

Daniel: should come up with a new one. Yeah. You can do

Laurel: that. Version 2.0 10% more sparkle.

Daniel: onward. I am a by male, of course. My partner is CC, who is attached to this profile. She and I have been together for over six years. We have very deep love, commitment and support for each other.

Daniel: Completely

Nichole: uhhuh. Sure.

Daniel: , Redacted is home emoji, but we travel a lot looking for sex. Positive friends, dates and play. We play with others together or separately. I am very passionately dominant.

Daniel: Cece is deeply, lovingly submissive to me only. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. What? Okay, Becca. What? Whoa.

Daniel: It is in parenthesis with an exclamation point, so you gotta pause and yell. me. So I am

Dahlia: abusing my partner and I will also abuse you.

Daniel: Yeah.

Dahlia: Yeah. Okay, got

Daniel: it. He's bringing the card. He's putting it on the table.

Laurel: That's cute. Okay. Yeah. But she can't sub for anybody else.

Dahlia: No. Yeah. Only for, okay. Being submissive is very passionately part of her identity, but not out of context.

Laurel: Right? Yeah.

Dahlia: With his superb dominance, I guess, because that's normal.

Daniel: So she is lovingly submissive to him only. Mm-hmm. And is attractive to handsome fit men. What, what, what? You must be very active in the gym for her to be interested.

Daniel: Oh my God. Oh

Nichole: my God.

Laurel: I gotta back up for a minute. 'cause she, you said she's only attracted to fit men, or she's only attractive to, according to the phrasing,

Dahlia: she's attractive to,

Laurel: yeah.

Laurel: That's what, oh, I

Daniel: said attractive, I thought, or did I, oh, did I not?

Laurel: I thought you said attractive too, like, he was stating, yeah, I thought that only fit dudes are

Nichole: So it's like a barometer. It's like, how do I know if I'm fit? Am I attracted to this woman? To, to cecc. Yeah. Yeah.

Laurel: Must be fit.

Daniel: Just like pump an iron in order to fucking , get it up. For us guys who are disrespectful or want to play power dynamic games should not try with us.

Dahlia: So you mean you?

Daniel: Yeah. What the fuck? Yeah. If

Dahlia: you are like me, don't contact us.

Daniel: Yeah. It gets so much more. Exactly. That I don't Oh God. Wow. Not to give anything away.

Daniel: Those who are still reading, that's in the profile. This is amazing. Yeah.

Dahlia: Oh. Oh, he could have stopped typing at that point. I already swiped left, but

Daniel: continue. I am a private pilot airplane owner. I am the CEO of a global logistics company. I hate

Dahlia: this dude. Oh my God, I hate this dude so fucking much. Why do I need to know that to fuck you?

Dahlia: Exactly.

Oh my God. Oh my God.

Dahlia: Are you trafficking me? Is that what

Laurel: Right?

Dahlia: He's trying to inform me right

Laurel: now. Yeah. And then he is gonna say, don't say I didn't warn you. Yeah.

Dahlia: You, you knew. You knew global logistics. You knew

Daniel: what was gonna happen on this plane. Now Nicole has an ironic, filter that she runs all of these unicorn hunter profiles through where it's like, do they have a boat? Are there picks on a boat? Yeah. Yeah. And so that was a really

Dahlia: bad start.

Daniel: Yeah. Yes. To any

Dahlia: relationship.

Daniel: Yes. So what I'm here to ask today is, is a plane less? A plane is worse. A plane is worse than a boat. Yeah. Is it

Dahlia: abo.

Nichole: It is. I mean, yeah, he, I can almost guarantee it's aerial

Dahlia: truck nuts is what a private plane is.

Daniel: I, I want my stripper name to be aerial truck nuts.

Nichole: And you only go upside down on that part. Yes, exactly.

Laurel: Oh my God. Yes, yes. You're gonna start training with me so we can make this happen.

Daniel: , I am interviewed on national news shows several times a year. So I don't buy the no pick BS stories. People tell what? So save it and send a pick.

Nichole: Is it day one? What does that

Daniel: even mean? He means that, well, I go on Fox News twice a year, so I'm willing to show my face, why aren't you?

Nichole: So people who say like. Not showing my face because of my job.

Dahlia: But you also have a private jet.

Nichole: Yeah. Yeah.

Dahlia: Some of us work retail. What are we talking about?

Daniel: I don't drink alcohol. Heart emoji lifting. It's only so we can get it up for his girlfriend. Yeah, exactly. You have to be, yeah, you have to be fit. turnoffs. Oh great. Oh, this is

Dahlia: gonna be golden.

Daniel: , Dick pics, exclamation point. There is already a big dick in the mix here. Oh my. So we are not impressed.

Daniel: Oh wow.

Dahlia: Didn't he just start with I am bi?

Laurel: Yeah, that's, yeah,

Daniel: yeah, yeah. But maybe he's only bi for people who have a smaller dick than him. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Which

Dahlia: isn't exactly bi, that's just DL trade. Okay. He should have just started with like, I am dl.

Dahlia: I am a DL Predator. I'm looking for people to traffic on my private jet.

Daniel: Oh my God. Oh my God. Do you think Epstein faked his death Yeah. And made this profile and, and they got

Laurel: plastic surgery. Yeah. And now is this man, is this

Dahlia: dude is, is that, is that Big Dead yet? Oh yeah.

Laurel: Oh my God. Oh my God.

Dahlia: Okay. This is where the real breaking news happens.

Dahlia: Yeah. We We did find the Jeffrey Epstein, , phone list, but we did find his field profile. Oh my

Daniel: God. And his partner on here is Trump. Yeah.

Daniel: uh, Turnoffs continued, not reading, respecting our profile. Deception slash attempted manipulation. Obviously aggressive, pushy, or disrespectful people. Why does any of this need to be stated? Right? Yeah.

Dahlia: we don't need any big dicks. 'cause I'm the only big dick here. We don't want any dominance. 'cause I'm the only dom, we don't want any toxic people.

Dahlia: 'cause I'm the only toxic young

Daniel: and no other airplanes. Yeah. And no

Dahlia: other airplanes. No other aerial drug nuts.

Daniel: My airplane must be the biggest jet. Oh my god. , turnons ons honesty. Mm-hmm. Respect.

Dahlia: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Daniel: Vulnerability.

Dahlia: So everything you're lacking Got it. Yeah. Got it. Continue. They

Daniel: need to be vulnerable to my abuse.

Daniel: Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yes. Friendly

Dahlia: and kind. People

Daniel: shut up.

Dahlia: What does that mean? Does he also list that he likes indoors and outdoors and all types of music? Is is all that also noted? Okay.

Daniel: , We are very busy. Can't always drop everything to meat. Nigga. You have a plane?

I not,

Daniel: that's the last line. That's, that's his closer. That's his closer,

Dahlia: No worries. Yeah,

Daniel: no

Dahlia: worries. I'm not expecting him to drop anything from me.

Daniel: I would like to show you pictures though, of both of them.

Dahlia: Yes. Oh my God. They're pictures. This is gonna be golden.



Dahlia: a poorly bearded gentleman, , sitting , in a pool. , , he is of course, white, , as you should have already known from the profile, with a very large appropriated tribal tattoo uhhuh, um, which is in reference to no tribe. That has ever existed. Um, but it is tribal in intent.

Dahlia: Esque. Yeah, it's esque. , Wearing a dog tag, I guarantee he has never been in the military. with a a, a fishing

Daniel: hat, it appears

Dahlia: he definitely has a receding hairline that he's embarrassed about, , and takes way too much growth hormone and for some reason does all of his curls solely with his left arm?

Daniel: Yeah, I spotted the growth hormone thing too, right? He's got that 100%, that growth hormone. Yeah. He's got like the puffy red, every muscle in his body. Like his eyelids are buff.

Dahlia: Yeah. 'cause of it, like the swollen dick of someone who took way too much Cialis. That's what this man's entire body looks like.

Oh my God.

Daniel: Maybe just , the facial expression on this one.

Dahlia: Oh my God. , So he is very seductively judging you for being beneath him. Um, and he's wondering why you haven't already swiped Right. Given his superiority over you, I think is what that, that face says.

Daniel: Now I am a great , , smirk. I smirk a lot.

Yeah.

Daniel: This is the joyless smirk. Yeah.

Daniel: Right. Yeah.

Dahlia: that is the smirk of a man who beats women.

Nichole: Mm. Yeah.

Daniel: I'm also gonna ask, so is he

Dahlia: bi or is she bi? He's bi. Okay. They both bi. Yeah. 'cause I get no indication of, of like bisexual from him.

Dahlia: I am very distinctly attracted to bi boys 'cause they tend to be very sweet. And this dude is a jackass. He is a monster.

Laurel: , Yeah. This guy explicitly looks like he's in a constant state of gay panic. Thank you. Yes, yes. Yeah. Yes. That is the

Dahlia: perfect description of this man's entire being. Yeah.

Dahlia: This dude fucks twinks then feels bad about it. And blames the T twink.

Laurel: Yes. Yes. And then like donates money to his church? Yes, exactly.

Daniel: I don't think this guy feels bad about anything. I think they forgot the fucking sense of like moral remorse or, yeah.

Daniel: , So before I show a picture of the partner mm-hmm. Perhaps this is a good time to guess their ages.

Laurel: Oh, oh, I was gonna say 56 and

Nichole: she's 23.

Daniel: Is that very close? He is 49.

Dahlia: I knew he was not aging that well.

Daniel: It's fair. He's like, he's like aging, like one of those antique footballs. Yeah, exactly. Uh, okay, so he's, he's he's 49 and she is 27. Okay. Because

Dahlia: that's not weird at all.

Daniel: No, no. Here is a picture of her,

Dahlia: you know, we all gotta make money some. Exactly, exactly,

Daniel: exactly. I'm not,

Dahlia: I'm not hating her business model. No. Especially if this area has a private jet. Sometimes. Yeah. Sometimes you gotta put up with some bullshit to get flown around the world for your next photo shoot. I get it. I have plenty of friends in that business.

Dahlia: I understand how it works.

Nichole: Is this gonna make me sad for her?

Dahlia: No, no, no. Okay. Not at all. She looks, she's a professional.

Dahlia: She's playing a character to be flown around to her other clients. Yes. Yes. That's what's happening.

Daniel: Yes. Okay.

Daniel: this last one is them on his private jet with like, , hot yoga, , headsets on, yeah,

Nichole: hot yoga headsets.

Dahlia: 100%. She's using this nigga for money and, you know, props to her. Yeah. Yeah. Props to her. You get it, girl.

Nichole: they've been together for six years.

Daniel: Yeah.

Nichole: So she was 21 when they met.

Daniel: Yes.

Nichole: And she's just been perfecting her grift.

Daniel: Yeah.

Nichole: Like every year.

Laurel: Exactly. She is waiting for this motherfucker to die. Yes. She knows exactly. And she's like, if you keep, if you keep on these roads, it'll be sooner than later. Sooner than later. Yeah. Maybe

Daniel: she's, maybe she's gradually poisoning him with the overdose of the growth hormone and she gets, I mean, that's her full time.

Daniel: I get it.

Dahlia: Yeah, I get it. Because you know, , sometimes clients are hard to find and you need that guaranteed check.

Daniel: Yep.

Laurel: This is how

Dahlia: I choose to believe what is happening. Yeah. Interpret me too. 'cause the other interpretation is that he's trafficking her and I don't like that interpretation as much.

Laurel: Yeah. That one makes us sad. Yeah. So

Dahlia: I'm, I'm going to put her in the position of power here.

Dahlia: She's just running a successful business.

Laurel: Yeah. Yeah. I like it. Complete with retirement plan. Yeah. Like she's got her built in 401k because this

Dahlia: and a is gonna die. Yeah. We know for a fact that this is her business model because , they're not accepting anyone but someone who is muscular.

Dahlia: You have to be a gem rat. Yeah, to get in. Yeah. So this is absolutely her, Griff.

Nichole: Oh, and then she lines up the next one. Exactly. Yes. Yeah. And that one I was gonna say has a private train. Yeah, exactly. Yes. I don't know how he would get her route. No. The hints

Dahlia: are, the clues are there that she is in control of this business model.

Daniel: Yes. Wait, Nicole, are you suggesting that she is gradually like accumulating a transportation empire? Yes.

Nichole: Yes. 100%. That's what she's doing. She's playing real life monopoly. Yes. She's gonna have park place. Yeah. And the bank. Yeah. Yeah. She

Dahlia: has some dude that owns a hotel. Yeah. Where she can meet other clients.

Nichole: Yes.

Dahlia: This dude has a plane to fly her out. Some other dude has a train, someone runs a bus company.

Nichole: She hasn't been

Daniel: a golden shoe.

Dahlia: Yeah. Props to her

Nichole: a Scotty dog.

Dahlia: You get it. You get it. Cece, you go make that money. Get your coin. Girl.

Nichole: LLCC.

Dahlia: Yeah.

Nichole: I love her.

Dahlia: That's just old CC out there getting that coin.

Daniel: I, yeah. Props to her. You know how guys though, can take dick pics from certain angles to make it like, look like it's a lot bigger. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Yes. There's, there's no, there's no banana for scale, you know? Yeah. Mm-hmm. Right. We can't really tell how big this plane is.

Daniel: Is this one of those little cessnas? It's a very small plane.

Dahlia: Yeah. Yeah. You know, it's a small plane because he's only showing the cockpit. He's not having someone else take pictures of them coming out of the plane. Yeah. And he is measuring

Daniel: from the perineum.

Dahlia: Exactly.

Daniel: Yeah.

Dahlia: Yeah. The peren of the plane. Yes.

Daniel: Alright. on unicorn hunter hunters, we rate the unicorn hunters on these three important categories. , I think we just better start with self-aggrandizement. Yeah. On a scale

Nichole: of one to 10, on a

Daniel: scale of one to one to 10, on a scale of one to 10,

Dahlia: this dude gets an 11 for not knowing.

Dahlia: He's a John.

Dahlia: Yeah, he's, he, there's a bonus point if you don't know.

Nichole: The only other person I've given a 10. Was the leader of, , the burgeoning cult. Yeah. Yeah. This guy gets a 10.

Nichole: This guy gets, this guy gets a 10. Yes.

Laurel: Full on. Full out.

Daniel: If we were more brave about breaking our own rules, we would go 11 with you. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. But we

Dahlia: just know there is a bonus point. We are, we're limited to a 10 point scale, so he gets 10. But there is an asterisk next to that 10.

Daniel: Yes.

Dahlia: Because he does not know that he is a client.

Daniel: It's a secret. It's a secret point.

Dahlia: Yeah. Like if he looks at it, it's just a 10.

Daniel: But all of us, but we all know.

Dahlia: Yes. We all got the memo. He somehow didn't. Next up.

Laurel: Arbitrary rules.

Dahlia: Oh my god.

Laurel: Yeah. I mean, you gotta be fit. You have to be fit, but you can't have too big of a penis.

Dahlia: He's demanding that these men spend a lot of time at the gym and he doesn't want any big penises because there's only one big penis in the room.

Dahlia: And it is his, and we know that he is taking a lot of steroids. This man has a very small MicroPen.

Nichole: Yeah. And so he needs other, yeah. Any dick pic is

Daniel: too

Dahlia: large.

Nichole: Yes. Yes.

Daniel: And if you want to get paid, if you wanna get paid, you have to like just. Enter this state of suspended disbelief. Yes. And be like, that is the biggest dick I've ever seen.

Daniel: Mm. But you're really making eye contact with him not looking at his penis. Yes, exactly. There's the biggest, oh my God, this dick is massive.

Laurel: Yes. Ah, yeah.

Secrets

Daniel: revealed. Okay. I mean, there, they're also like, don't fucking message us without a face

Laurel: pick.

Daniel: Yeah. But, but we'll fucking match you. But you better send us a pick.

Daniel: Mm-hmm. Um, no politics.

Dahlia: Yeah. Yeah. Which is super arbitrary. 'cause you just stayed at your politics. Yeah. Oh yeah.

Daniel: Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. We talk here a lot about implied rules too. Yeah. Where there are rules that you are going to run into that you don't know about.

Daniel: This wins on vibes for me, and I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go 10 on rules too. Wow.

Dahlia: I'm gonna give him an eight. Okay. Because I have read far worse dating profiles with some explicitly racist, homophobic, transphobic,

mm-hmm.

Dahlia: Et cetera. Rules Clear, plainly stated.

Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

Dahlia: So props to him for leaving the racial parts out and only heavily implying them.

Nichole: Um, I don't wanna say that I'm desensitized to like all the bullshit in this profile. I just feel like it's so rote and I've heard it so many times. Yeah. You know, um, that I want somebody to gimme something special. Right, right. I'm like, be creative with your arbitrary rule.

Daniel: Know this is basic cock.

Daniel: Yeah. Nicole, Nicole can only get it up for a cult anymore. Yeah, exactly.

Nichole: I know. Um. Probably, yeah, probably an eight. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's up there, it's just not,

Laurel: yeah, I was in seven or eight territory. But also, , I hear what you're saying, Daniel, because I'm pretty sure that like, if I did something remotely wrong, this man will berate me.

Laurel: Yes. So hard and then maybe beat me. Oh God.

Nichole: You're going on a private jet flight. Yeah. And you are skydiving without a parachute, like

Daniel: Yeah. You're over international waters. Yeah. I,

Dahlia: I

Laurel: don't know that,

Dahlia: that, that is necessarily the highest risk for you specifically.

Laurel: That's fair. That's fair. My

Dahlia: assumption would be that you would just be hired to go down on Cece.

Dahlia: Yeah. While he masturbates in a corner. Mm-hmm.

Laurel: That's true. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Dahlia: And then you just get the briefcase of money and go on your way.

Daniel: Yeah. He's so protective of his dumbness though. Yeah. Like I have never felt less confidence in somebody's ability to dom than I have reading this and being like, a lot of people mistake

Dahlia: toxic masculinity for dominance.

Dahlia: Dominance. Yes. Yes. And it's opposite and a thousand percent. Yes.

Laurel: Anyone who puts Alpha in front of Dom.

Dahlia: Yes. I'm like, so not a dom. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Clear. Thank you. Thank you for communicating that.

Daniel: Oh, and by Alpha you mean the, the dog that runs behind the pack and supports all the other dogs.

Daniel: Yes.

Laurel: Yeah. You mean the concept that the person who thought of it now tries to like, refute and reeducate everybody on? Yeah. It's not real.

Daniel: Um, so wait, did we get all our numbers? Yeah, we got our numbers. No, there's one more I thought.

Laurel: I

Daniel: don't think you numbered.

Daniel: I said seven or seven or eight. Yeah, seven or eight. Okay.

Laurel: I numbered. Don't doubt

Daniel: me. It's like, um, did did you have a number? Did you number, did you I respect, respect my number. I couldn't, I couldn't tell if you numbered in the moment 'cause maybe it was a really small number. So I just need to ask, did you have a number?

Nichole: Yeah, I totally number numbered codependency in play. What they're talking about, they're in therapy for this.

Daniel: Last but not least would we Unicorn for them.

Laurel: I mean, dahlia's scenario where I leave with a briefcase of cash adds some very mild temptation to it. But, , still not enough.

Dahlia: Yeah,

Laurel: no.

Dahlia: I am not sexually attracted to women, and also 27 is far below my age range.

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Dahlia: Um, so I, I'm not going to do that.

Dahlia: And also, I, I am a trans woman and he's going to murder me.

Mm-hmm. Yep.

Dahlia: 100% guaranteed. I don't survive that scenario. And he would be paying me to top him, and I know he doesn't clean.

Oh God.

Dahlia: He has never touched his own butt hole, but he wants me to put my face there. So now

Daniel: this is, this is one asshole that I wish would've been murdered in the womb.

Daniel: Yes, exactly.

Dahlia: Exactly. Yeah. That didn't need to be born.

Nichole: I don't need to, I mean. Okay, I'm on the edge of my seat. What's Nicole gonna say? I was gonna say I'm not a fan. When Daniel and Laurel start to like, make other versions of the theme songs that we have, like throughout, throughout the episodes. , 'Cause I'm like, we already have a theme song.

Nichole: It's fine. Just keep going, move on. , But this is the one time that I would've been like, we could have a chorus of nos because I'm pretty sure we all like, we could all four part harmony. Just like send it out into the Universe knocked down. No.

Dahlia: no, no,

Nichole: no,

no. We already did.

Dahlia: I was gonna take

Laurel: it back

Dahlia: to compose his

Daniel: magnum opus here and you just smacked him down.

Daniel: Magnum opus is another word for my butt hole that I use. Fair. Fair. I support it

Laurel: Daniel.

Daniel: No,

Laurel: no, no. Really? Hmm. Shocking.

Dahlia: What are your major disqualifiers for this pinnacle of masculine?

Laurel: Yeah.

Daniel: What point did you drop outta

Laurel: the

Daniel: race? I, I think the Nazi dog whistles to start off the profile.

Daniel: That's fair. That's fair. Yeah. Yeah. One, , that he said no politics. Exclamation point. Yeah. Yeah. All caps. Yep. Yep. Two, , that he, uh, refused to dead name X.

Daniel: Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Laurel: I forgot, I forgot about that already.

Dahlia: We just, so are you telling me you would never fucking a Nazi?

Daniel: You know, my people,

Daniel: the ones that, the ones that have fetishes for that are typically the ones who survive the Holocaust. Yeah. I'm not quite that old.

Dahlia: Fair. Yeah.

Nichole: But remember that one. Oh, maybe I shouldn't bring this up.

Dahlia: Oh, you definitely should. Yeah. Kind time that I fucked the time that Daniel fucked an not. Yeah, yeah.

Dahlia: Please. No, that's the next episode.

Nichole: He was dating this woman briefly who. Said that she fucked a white supremacist. Oh, she fucked the white supremacy out of him.

Dahlia: What?

Daniel: She was like, I can't keep this pussy away from white supremacists because how else am I going to cure them? And for the record, she is white. Oh.

Daniel: So how does that work? Whoa.

Nichole: What I, I, she's long gone. Right?

Daniel: Yes.

Nichole: I don't even remember her name. Yeah, that was

Daniel: the last date.

Dahlia: So a white woman is fucking the white supremacy out of white supremacist.

Daniel: Yeah. She, that I don't, I don't think she understands how that really, he shoots the white supremacy into her. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. That, that formula

Laurel: doesn't check out at all. Wait, is the semen the white supremacy? Like if

Dahlia: we were talking about like a, a black dominatrix who's like pegging dudes while reading critical race theory.

Nichole: Yes, absolutely. Yes. Fine. Absolutely.

Dahlia: You are fucking the white supremacy out of someone. I believe you and I support your business model. That does not sound like what this is.

Nichole: No, it's not. It was not.

Daniel: She was also a professional psychic.

Daniel: Okay. Okay.

Nichole: . I think she's justifying fucking white supremacists. Yeah.

Dahlia: Which, why would you ever bring that up to anyone? Yeah. That's my question. Did it,

Daniel: did it come up like where we were talking about how we wouldn't, 'cause obviously that's something that we bring up all the time is how we won't fuck white Sup.

Daniel: I could not, not me thinks he doth protests too much, but we will not fuck white supremacists. And she was like, well. In certain cases. Yeah.

Nichole: I don't remember, but I feel like this Pu was

Dahlia: my pussy is the white savior.

Daniel: She was super hot

Dahlia: this is why I'm ace, so that I'm not confused by hotness.

Dahlia: It does nothing for me.

Laurel: Yeah.

Dahlia: I, I do not care how physically attractive you are. Yeah. Do you have a fetishized white savior complex?

Yeah.

Dahlia: That's the deciding factor for me on me. If someone is attracted, I didn't know That was my deciding factor.

Dahlia: Right? Yeah. Until just this moment. I didn't know I had to add this to the list.

Dahlia: If I ever do another dating profile, I'm going to list You must not believe. Your ability to fuck the white supremacy out of Nazis.

Daniel: Your handle can't be that white savior. Yeah,

it does.