Laurel: My tire pressure is low and my toilet's clogged.

Daniel: Are these metaphors?

Laurel: Nope. This is life today.

Nichole: those are two slightly inconvenience, right? Yeah. It's like you could just plunge your toilet and you could just roll up to Les Schwab, which I found out is Les Schwab. Oh, not, not Le Le Schwab, which is how I was pronouncing it.

I always pronou pronounce

Laurel: it. Le Schwab. No,

Nichole: it's a guy. Oh, you two are definitely from California. What no, because I thought it

was the only one. People were giving me such shit.

No, Lales, Schwab,

Yeah. Oh, I feel so much less alone. Anyways. Yeah,

Daniel: for those of you who are not, Portland, Oregonians, we have a tire chain here called Les Schwab What you have to know though

is that when I was a kid, they would give out free beef with your new set of tires, What, what was really astounding about these commercials though, is that he. Presented it like it was just totally expected. Like there was nothing odd about a tire store that was giving out beef with tires, He'd just be like, come on down to Les Schwab, it's free beef season.

Like, it was just something that everybody knew. It was like the time. Wait, what time

Laurel: of year was it?

What time of

year was beef season?

Daniel: You know, I don't remember. I didn't keep as good of a diary of, , eccentric Portland, Oregon television commercials as I kind of wish that I had.

Mm. Dear

Diary today, mom and dad brought home free beef. It was such a delightful surprise, but I shouldn't have been surprised because it's April 3rd after all

Nichole: his diary is so proper.

There was a period in my life like secret garden.

I would like write in my diary like super properly. Mm. Like I was a little British orphan. Yeah. Sent to go live on the Moors, you know what I mean?

Laurel: I had a teddy bear diary and every page had like a little teddy bear and like a little cute saying, and I would write, dear Teddy, Aw.

Nichole: That's so cute.

Daniel: uh, did you ever have a Teddy Ruxpin? Yes.

Nichole: Yeah. Uh, we didn't, but I knew of them.

Daniel: because I remember swapping out the tape for like mm-hmm. Too short. At one point, on the west coast, in the eighties when you, when you hit your tweens mm-hmm.

You just swap out your Teddy Ruxbin tape. It's time

Laurel: Ruxin

Daniel: for pornographic hip hop,

Nichole: because that's what Ruxin Teddy Ruxbin was, was like a tape player.

Daniel: Oh, I thought you meant he's a pornographic rapper.

Nichole: How do you spell it? Teddy Ruxbin? I don't know how it was

Daniel: spelled at all.

Laurel: Teddy Roosevelt. No thank you. Rucks pin.

Nichole: Rux pin. Don't don't barren stain. Bears this with me. Oh my

Laurel: God,

Nichole: no.

Laurel: Oh my God,

Daniel: no. Oh God. Was he, was he convicted of statutory rape?

Laurel: Oh God. He's maga now.

It is Ruxpin. No, it's not.

Daniel: What are you, why are you so distraught by this? I don't understand. It's 'cause

Nichole: this whole time we thought it was ruxbin. Yeah. We've just been saying Ruxbin.

Daniel: No, it's Teddy Ruxbin.

Nichole: No, it's Les

Daniel: Schwab.

Nichole: Welcome to Poly Amateur Hour. I'm Laurel, I'm

Daniel: Daniel.

Nichole: I'm Nicole.

Daniel: I still feel like I'm in a food coma

Nichole: I just loved at our dinner yesterday when we hosted Thanksgiving, that we, it really did feel like we all got hit with the food coma at the same time. Yeah. There was just a moment when we all, yeah. Just

Daniel: shut

Nichole: down.

Daniel: It was like we had all dropped acid and we all just felt it come on at the same time.

Yeah. And then like, there's just a moment where people just stopped talking and everybody was just staring out into space, like with a blank look on their face.

Nichole: This was like a shared experience between like eight people.

Laurel: Yeah. That's just how like in tune we all are with each other's, just how

Nichole: connected we are.

Laurel: Has Your metabolism synced up? It's

Daniel: your

Laurel: p

Daniel: Yeah, I mean, I've started having a menstrual cycle hanging out with all of you.

Laurel: Oh, checks out.

Daniel: Yeah.

Laurel: No

Daniel: wonder you're such

Laurel: a fucking bitch.

Nichole: So Daniel does. when I had a menstrual cycle mm-hmm. Which I won't for quite a while. are you pregnant? Ew.

No.

Nichole: So, you know, I would be maybe a little sassy.

Mm-hmm. Maybe a little fragile.

Laurel: Mm-hmm.

Nichole: Maybe a little quick to anger. And Daniel would go, babe. What time of the month is it? And if this fucker wasn't right, like every single fucking time, it, it pisses me off. Now thinking about it, I don't,

Laurel: I don't like this in the same way. You don't like Teddy Rux pin,

Nichole: it doesn't feel right.

It doesn't

Laurel: feel, I don't like it, I don't like it. I don't like it. Send it back.

Nichole: this is what pisses me off is that it's typically such a base question.

Yeah. Right? Like it's such an asshole like, Ooh, you on your period. Yeah. Like that kind of thing. But. He was correct,

Daniel: I feel like my motivation was to generally like, soothe you and give you like a reason in your head for why you were feeling the way that you were.

Mm-hmm. Because If you do not have an explanation, then

Nichole: I make up an explanation. Exactly. And that gives me comfort. Yeah. And a sense of control. But yeah. I hate that you were right. But now. Whatcha gonna do, huh?

Laurel: whatcha gonna do? Whatcha you gonna do?

Whatcha you gonna do when I menstruate on you?

When was the last time I had my period?

Daniel: I'm trying to think about the last time that you were a bitch.

Laurel: Yeah, go for it. Go for it. This feels like

Nichole: a trap,

but it also kind of feels like he's on the witness stand and this is when I would go like, objection leading. Leading the witness. Except,

Laurel: and I'll be like, judge, permission to treat the witness as hostile,

Daniel: except I just have two prosecutor attorneys in my life. That's how it rolls.

and honestly. With all the nonstop, interrogation I think I need like a little bit of positive energy from our stews right now, and I think it's been quite a while since we have asked for a poly pyramid scheme.

what are our needs right now?

Nichole: reviews on Apple Podcasts,

y'all, it takes five seconds. so all you do is you go to Apple Podcasts on your iPhone. I don't know what you Android people do. You search for poly amateur hour, and then you scroll all the way down until you hit the stars.

And then you put five stars. And then you can write a little something. Literally anything. write. , I too thought it was Lei Schwab, right. Teddy Rucks been forever. Yeah. You know. here's one that is An example I love this podcast. These three are intelligent, open, curious, humble, and funny. I like peanut butter. Hmm. Gonna make peanut butter toast with my on my new Cascadia traditional gluten-free bakery bread.

Oh, hey, is that a stealth

Daniel: ad that they tried to get into our fucking, Hey,

Laurel: big Cascadia bread. Get off our tip.

Daniel: Here's another one. Came here for the Poly Star Trek nerds. Stayed for the promise of cream pie. Charlie slash dr. Phil slash fic. It's hard not to have a crush on all three hosts with their quick wits and great bits. 11 outta 10

Laurel: ha. That reminds me. Send in your Dr. Phil Fanfic.

Daniel: Oh yeah. We have not received any because people have an immediate like gag reflex when they open their computer and they're like, okay. Okay. Dr. Phil slash fiction. And I don't think that chat GPT will do it for you. It'll be like, that's a real person and I refuse. That's where it draws the line.

Laurel: I don't, don't use ai. Use your imagination. Don't.

Exactly. That's what I'm, that's what I'm saying. Yeah.

Daniel: this has me thinking, this has me worrying

Nichole: about what?

Daniel: Like that it's only a matter of time before there's like a new generation of teddy ruxpin, like dolls, toys that are AI powered that kids can talk to their fucking,

Nichole: oh God, why did you teddy bear?

Oh, why did you put that in my head? And it's

Daniel: gonna be like, like Elon Musk's ai. So it's gonna be like a Nazi teddy bear

Nichole: I hate this. Can you take it back? Take poly pyramid scheme. Please

Laurel: write to your senators and representatives to legislate AI now,

Nichole: actually, please do that. Yeah, Uhhuh. And then tell us about it in your podcast review.

Ugh.

Have we asked people to do enough

Daniel: You know what else we need? What? Questions?

Nichole: Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Send us questions. Yes, please.

Laurel: Send

Nichole: us questions.

Laurel: Also, I think if you want to come on the show and talk to us about your question, Ooh, then send us an email. Don't do it through the anonymous form on our website, which is poly amateur hour.com. But email us at poly amateur hour@gmail.com

you can still be anonymous. Just we will see you.

Nichole: We can mask your voice if you really wanna be anonymous. Totally fine. Oh yeah. We can make you

Laurel: sound like a scary guy on a documentary.

Daniel: And I was sitting in the back seat when the defendant.

Nichole: when you're doing anonymous voice, you're always describing a crime

Daniel: So if you have committed a crime,

Nichole: or if you wanna pretend a poly crime, before you commit a poly crime, yeah. Come on to, to poly amateur hour and ask the amateurs your question.

Daniel: Ask us what is the perfect poly murder?

Laurel: And we'll say it involves an icicle, ask an answer.

Daniel: Three icicles.

Laurel: Oh,

Daniel: So guess what guys? Yes. Today's a very special day.

Laurel: Mm-hmm. Really?

Daniel: I'm gonna do this intro as though I'm Teddy Ruxbin. Please don't. Have you heard of the great replacement theory Stop Jesus. Well, today we have a very special guest. Mm-hmm. We have none other than comedian Mack Lee. Hmm. Mack is a kind of kindred spirit for us.

Mm-hmm. Because Mac hosts a local variety show. Oh, it is called Queer af.

Laurel: Mm-hmm.

Daniel: We assume AF stands for

Laurel: automatic fingering.

Daniel: Always friendly.

Laurel: That's an option too.

Daniel: and we're gonna ask them a little bit about that. A few jokey fun time, , jolly clowning questions.

I don't know about that part. Oh, you wanna be super serious?

Laurel: Let's be serious this time guys. Why not? Let's try it.

Daniel: Mac, tell us about your trauma. Is this trauma informed comedy? Is this, is this trauma? Are you a standup trauma?

Nichole: Welcome. Mac

Daniel: Drum

Nichole: roll please.

Daniel: And you've adjusted the mic to like force them to sit up straight. Like it's high enough now where it's where actually gonna have, yeah. Yeah.

Mack: It's good though. It's good for me. Yeah, yeah. You know? Yeah. Thank you.

Daniel: Reach

Laurel: for the stars.

Mack: Yeah.

Laurel: Okay. And you'll land amongst the moon.

Beautiful. Beautiful.

Nichole: Laurel hates that saying

Daniel: There's like two things that Laurel hates. It's fascism and that expression.

Mack: Oh, okay.

Well, it's like kind of a fascist express. Absolutely.

Laurel: Thank you. Finally, somebody gets it. Yeah. So Nazi bullshit. Oh, Welcome Mac. Hi, Mac. Mac

Mack: Lee. Hi Mac. Hi. Thanks for welcoming me into your home and into your host space. Yeah, yeah. Thank you for

Laurel: being here. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Appreciate

Mack: it.

Daniel: Well, we realized that like, since you have a variety show as well, that we better like, keep our enemies close.

Yeah. Oh, you know, we had to bring, we had to bring you in before you. Yeah.

Laurel: Don knows we've now planted a lot of surveillance devices

Daniel: you mean these four microphones? Yes.

Mack: Shh. Daniel,

Daniel: So tell us about yours.

Mack: Mm-hmm.

Daniel: My variety show. Yeah. Variety show. Oh yeah. I was like, oh, about your what

Mack: about my, yeah. Mm-hmm. Um, so Queer AF is what it's called. It's a queer comedy variety show.

Mm-hmm. And what that basically means is it's a party every time, and we have a very strict theme that everyone who's booked has to adhere to Uhhuh. So like, um, the medieval theme is coming up. Yeah. So that's in January. we like to have magicians. We like to have clowning, we like to have performance art, slapstick, comedy, you know? Nice. Yeah. Yeah. Bring it Variety music. Yeah. It's variety. That's variety. Yeah.

Laurel: How often does queer F come around?

Mack: This is a monthly shoe. Mm-hmm. Oh, sweet. Okay.

Yeah. Where at? Um, it's at Covert Cafe.

Nichole: Okay.

Mack: Um, and it's at 8:00 PM The next one is December, I wanna say. Sixth because it's every first Saturday of the month and it's a religious themed show. Ooh. Oh, the next one is this next one? Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. So I'm gonna be twink Jesus, which is one of my characters.

I have poppers. That's what everyone has to do. That's the holy water.

Daniel: Jesus really straddles the line between a few different, queer identities. You know, , Late Jesus gets the beard, He's not a bear.

He is, um, what are the, the skinny bears? Otter. Otter. Otter. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Like Otter Jesus is like the next Yeah. It's, you know, there's a, there's a, a gradual, uh, progression from twink Twink From twink to Otter. Yeah. Not

Nichole: according to the Bible. According to the Bible. Thank you. Was like born and then was 33, like there was sometime in between them, but we don't get like that.

Mack: But T twin's death occurs pretty early.

Nichole: Yeah. So

Mack: he was already

Nichole: honored

Mack: when

Nichole: he died. Yeah. And we didn't get to see him become a bear, so Yeah. It sucks. Yeah.

Mack: God damnit. Well,

Nichole: that's so

Mack: sad. Sad. Someone on Rule 34 probably drew it on What? Bear Rule 34. Do you not know? No. Oh. It's like sexy fan art. What? Yeah.

Of anything You could type anything into Rule 34, like there's definitely like Naked Jesus fan art on Rule 34. Is this a website? Oh yeah. Yeah. This, it makes me sound so

Daniel: ancient. Is this

Nichole: a website

Daniel: and you, and you search for it? It's, it's a artwork that people, human beings, I have to ask these days

Mack: I bet there's some AI art, but it's mostly human being art. Yeah. Of anything you want. Like I've looked up link from the legend of Zelda, like naked, like you get to see link with a penis trans link. Um, man, you get to anything,

Laurel: anything you want. Yeah. All right. We know what our plans are for the evening, apparently.

Teddy Ruxpin. Yeah. Yeah. There's some Teddy ruxbin. Yeah. What if Teddy Ruxbin wasn't a tape player in the back?

Nichole: A different slot.

So Mac, yes. what is your journey with polyamory?

Mack: Oh yeah, it was bad. Very bad. Um, so I used to be married, Uhhuh, um, and my partner, um, she transitioned and I was like, I like women too, so cool. You know? Um, but then she quickly was like, I fell in love with this girl on Twitter, and if you can't be polyamorous with me, then we can't be together.

Oh.

Daniel: Did she just want a

Mack: Twitter relationship? so this girl lived in Texas, so it was like a distance relationship, but they would like send nudes of each other on Twitter. And like I remember one time, 'cause I wasn't into it and they wouldn't do it in the dms, they'd do it publicly. Like they would just at each other.

Daniel: if I were in your place, I would be like, no problem with the openness, but like, the fucking, like Twitter nude bombing that's where,

Laurel: wait. Is that, I don't know. Was it, is that a thing still be doing still? Yeah, it was still Twitter at that point. Okay. Maybe it's okay then. This is a while ago. Yeah. Uh oh. It's just. if I'm doing on other platforms, you don't care. I'm front because I don't know if you've looked at our Blue Sky shop, I'm just like, fine.

Yeah.

Daniel: I'm just like not in front of Musk.

Nichole: Okay.

Laurel: Fair. Yeah, I know. Fair, fair, fair.

Nichole: That's a good point. So many questions. Yeah,

Laurel: please ask. I don't know

Nichole: that you can answer any of them because I'll try. It's what the

Laurel: fuck, number one?

Nichole: I just, I, uh, so the. Did they meet in real life? Never. Okay. so it was, you were married and, and they were like, I've fallen in love with this person whom I've never met. You better be okay with it, basically,

Mack: and I'm

Nichole: gonna share my nudes publicly with this person. She

Mack: didn't tell me she was doing that. That just was publicly visible on Twitter.

So I saw it.

Nichole: Yeah.

Mack: Wow. Twitter knew first. Yeah. Wow. She's like, we need to, we need to

Daniel: open our relationship. To Twitter.

Mack: it was like that.

Nichole: Okay. So that was bad. It was really, it was bad. Yeah. Is there a good part?

Yeah,

Mack: it's,

So I met people that I really liked and I was like, I guess I'm doing this. And I mean, spoiler alert, she started dating someone not on Twitter that she actually met in real life and then was monogamous with her. And that's when we broke up,

Nichole: Wow. Wow.

Mack: but yeah. so anyways, after that happened, I was like, I guess I'm gonna do this. So I got on field. As we do. and I met some people and like one of the people I met is like someone that I am currently with now Uhhuh.

So,

Nichole: okay. But now, but I'm

Mack: still doing it. Yeah.

Laurel: Like, are you still doing it because like you've just ended up in these like string of non-monogamous relationships?

Mack: So I am moving more towards open. Yeah. And I am like. more of a hierarchy polyamory person. Mm-hmm. Where I have my primary and then I have people on the side where I'm like, I, yeah, I love you too, but like not as much. Sorry.

I'm like, I'm being honest. Nobody loves everyone equally. I'm sorry, but it's just not possible.

Daniel: Wow. I feel like that's very, very fair and I think it's, I think it's honestly. when we say that we're non hierarchically poly Yeah. It doesn't mean that we don't acknowledge that like hierarchy exists.

It just means that we don't impose

Mack: mm-hmm. Like

Daniel: a hierarchical structure. Yeah. Yes. Like, yeah. The closer that you come to somebody's orbit of their life. Yeah. The more important you are going to be to them and vice versa. And that's just the way that like humans work.

Mack: No, absolutely. In my, yeah.

Nichole: either way you cut it.

Either I don't love you as much, or I have like more love for one person, blah, blah, blah. It's still quantify. Mm-hmm. It's still asking you to quantify love and I don't know that that's a good exercise that we should be undertaking. I don't know that it's worth our time to try and mm-hmm.

Quantify anything, even if it's equal amongst people.

Daniel: When hierarchy gets, problematic we even developed a term for it, is when you get hierarchied Mm. When people, when people, when people wield hierarchy as a tool to kind of keep people in.

Their place or get out of actually showing up for relationships? Uh, yes. Or, and sometimes, you know, that can also be like, like an unhealthy codependent thing. Like when you have to ask permission from No, for sure. Somebody for ev anything you do. Yes. Yeah.

Laurel: anything can just be like wielded poorly.

You can also just be somebody who likes to make excuses for. Not treating people kindly. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Yes. And so, and you can pick any number of psychiatry words or polyamory words and throw them out there as like an excuse to be shitty to somebody. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And I feel like, non-monogamous and like queer communities are constantly. Trying to like combat, like, and disassociate from the people who are using terminology in a shitty way to make excuses for shitty behavior. . So like hierarchy has been one of those things where it's like, yeah. Oh, there's all these like.

Unicorn hunters or whatever that are trying to preserve their relationship at all costs. Mm-hmm. And will invite in a third person, they'll treat them poorly and then just be like, well, we're hierarchical. Yeah. And you're a piece of shit. We don't care about you. Yeah. And then all of a sudden, the whole non-monogamous community is like, hierarchy is a bad word now.

Mm-hmm. And we have to like, get away from it rather than just being like, there's a lot of like nuance and gray area and there's something much more admirable about just being. Honest about where you hold your relationships, for sure.

Mack: Yeah. Yeah. Well, and I think that a lot of this comes from, like when I got on field initially, I started seeing a lot of relationship anarchists.

Mm-hmm. But the way that they practiced it felt really shitty, honestly. Yeah. Yeah. It very much felt like competitive in a weird way because it's like, oh, I just like hang out with whoever I. Feel like at the time,

and it felt like there was still rankings. Yes. But it was like everyone's moving constantly. It's like capitalism where it's like, yeah, for the free market or whatever. Yes. You know? But I just like to know where I stand with people. Sure. Yes. And with like hierarchy, it's like, it like at least the way that I practice it, it's like I'm clear about like who my primary is and how much time I have to spend on people based on that.

Mm-hmm. Where I'm like, oh, this is the person I spend holidays with.

Nichole: Yeah. That's being realistic with the people in your life mm-hmm.

And being realistic about the bandwidth that you have. Mm-hmm. For sure. Um, because just thinking about like the way that we've probably co-opted the term hierarchy and made it a verb as in like, you've gotten hierarchied.

Yeah. You know, it's, I think that's what I struggle with is, another person's relationship putting limitations on mine. Mm-hmm. Like, like deciding where I can be mm-hmm. In the hierarchy or what we can do, or how many times we can see each other.

Mm-hmm.

Daniel: Saying that you're non-hierarchical does not mean that you are actually. Correct. Mm-hmm. Practicing non-hierarchical polyamory. Mm-hmm. Or that you don't have some really shitty thing people might use words that actually mean the same thing in practice. Yeah. Mm-hmm. And then you're like, well, uh, okay.

I guess you said that you're non-hierarchical, but, um, I'm getting, priori. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. There's so many verbs that you can use to fuck somebody up, you know? Yeah, for sure. Speaking of really shitty relationships, we have brought you here today. Oh. To be part of ours.

Yes.

Now you have to invite all of us to Thanksgiving.

Mack: Oh, okay. Yeah, we're going to Woodburn and then Beaverton, so I hope you're ready. Close. That's fine.

Daniel: Uh, mom, dad, I'm dating a podcast. Yeah.

Laurel: Oh, that's gonna be the hardest one.

Darn. Sell that you're, you're the lowest on the

Daniel: hierarchy right now. I'm so sorry. Um, but in all seriousness, we brought you here for unicorn hunter hunters. Oh yes.

Daniel: unicorn hunter hunters. Oh yeah. Is the segment where we look at unicorn hunter profiles on the internet, and we rate them on three important categories,

Laurel: self-aggrandizement, arbitrary rules,

Daniel: and would we unicorn for them because we're fucking depraved sometimes.

Mack: Sometimes you never know. Yeah.

Daniel: for this one, I went to Florida.

Mack: Yeah. I mean,

Daniel: Florida is a fucking hive. Yeah. That's where they're at. Uhhuh.

Mack: Okay. Swinger. Hotbed.

Daniel: What if it was like the Borg.

Laurel: And they're a hive mind.

Yeah. And they all talk to each other. Yeah.

Nichole: All right. Go for

Daniel: it.

we enjoy spending time with other couples that are comfortable sitting back and talking together. Nude or perhaps enjoying a barbecue together. A barbecue. Okay, nude. I think so. Okay. And I'm wondering now we, we were talking about this, spam text that everybody was getting was just like, want some barbecue?

Oh, oh yeah. No. Have some barbecue. Have some barbecue. Well, that's pushy. Have it. Yeah. But maybe it's these people. It could be, yeah. Yeah. We enjoy sharing kisses and hugs with those friends, and when the atmosphere is right for everyone, letting that evolve into more intimacy. We like watching and hearing each other and our friends enjoying themselves.

Enjoy sitting and holding each other's partner while they are inside us, even if we are just talking together and enjoy. Letting things escalate into some great love making together. We enjoy watching each other and our partners enjoying themselves and love hearing them as they each reach orgasm.

And afterwards, we like sharing some wind downtime. While still connected in quotes, sexually? Yeah, I think so. Physically.

Mack: Physically, yeah. Like

Daniel: with some hugs and deep kisses.

Mack: Deep, the kisses went from small to deep.

Wow. Wow. In, in a

Daniel: flash. Wow.

Mack: Wait, so they're sitting and holding their partners while they're fucking, wait, did you hear that? I heard, yeah.

Nichole: partners being inside of other partners, but just carrying on a conversation.

Daniel: Oh, like how was your

Nichole: day?

Daniel: Mm-hmm. I mean, honestly, Daniel looked at me.

This is kind of how me and Laurel do it. About half the time is Yeah, but you're

Nichole: not talking to me while you're inside her. That's what I'm saying.

Daniel: Yeah. Well, sometimes you're like, ah, can I come in and get like my boots?

I'm like, I'm not judging,

Nichole: honestly. That's kind of cool. Yeah. I mean, yeah. There was that one time in Vegas when I was like, can I take a shower? And I had to go through your room while you two were fucking, but I didn't stop and say like, so how you, and

Mack: you sit down on the bed, you get them a. Of water. I watched a really good porn where that happened.

Oh. Where the girl was like, they were fucking like this couple, and then the one on top like paused for a second and her friend came in and she was just chatting with her and then she like brought her some water and then she, they continued fucking, I was like, I kind like this. Sweet. That's really sweet.

I know, right? Well now I feel bad for not Yeah. You should. Giving his water been more

Nichole: accommodating.

Laurel: You, you could, you could have made

Daniel: the

Laurel: effort. Yeah. Yeah. You know, you

Nichole: could have,

Laurel: yeah, I was pretty salty about that. The rest of the trip actually.

Mack: You're holding onto it. Yeah.

Daniel: She would stop while we were fucking and be like, is Nicole mad at me?

Laurel: Yeah. Like, I'm dehydrated. She hasn't brought me water yet. Yeah. Like, what's going on?

Daniel: about. Okay. After spending after, after spending several months on a OL talking. Our first long weekend date together, including getting a risque dress together, going to a swinging club together and her going topless in Key West during October Fest,

Mack: key West,

Daniel: October Fest, Okay. When we got to my car after picking her up at the airport, she went down on me and continued for the rest of the trip to my apartment.

We made love. I should made the rest of the trip far straight.

Mack: She throat goat, honestly, like

Daniel: she just, she just clamps down. Yeah. And you've gotta like throw, throw a jacket over. So just looks like somebody in old fashioned camera.

Laurel: Yeah.

Its just my photographer. Yeah. I've

Daniel: taken dick pics. Oh my God. Uh And we made love on the floor of my apartment on the rug. As soon as we got in the door, her Olas were puckered.

Mack: Oh, no, no. I hate that.

Daniel: I came inside her twice and she came four times from that one experience. We knew we were life partners and have been exploring our time together ever since. This is not the question that was asked

Mack: about, right? Yes.

Daniel: That is. Maybe that's all that's inside. remember when we were talking, last night about when, when Dalia said that she looked into, Darla's eyes, Uhhuh our little dog, Dalia our friend, looked into, Darla, our dogs.

Eyes. Yeah. I'm sorry. Their names are similar and said, yeah, it was just like emptiness. My, our, because our dog, our little dog, is that. Stupid. She really is. Maybe the about is like that. like That's all that exists. Yeah. Is in him is just this, just a

Laurel: cycling of their past sexual experiences.

Mm-hmm.

Nichole: Can you imagine

Daniel: experience,

Nichole: just the woman one. every unicorn. Like hunting profile was the couple's history. Like I It was just

Laurel: about their first

Nichole: date. Yeah, their first fuck. Yeah. Like in detail explicitly about their, I mean, I am, yeah.

Shocked that that was the direction that this went.

Mack: I would love that if every dating profile had that. Like that sounds like good

Daniel: reading, like honestly. Well, you should get on SLS. Yeah, because honestly, there is far more explicit description of sexual acts

Laurel: Okay.

Daniel: Yeah. Are you ready? Ready? Yeah. Fantasies,

Our best friends are or were before they moved away. Couples that have enjoyed dropping their clothes at the door and enjoying our time together, whether that be spending hours talking or spending more intimate time mm-hmm.

Together before the pandemic, we would periodically get together with a group of bye. Sexual swingers and hosted the group several times at our house.

info. She is easily multiorgasmic and is loud when she comes. She loves kissing and hugging others and giving them pleasure, particularly when she can see and hear them enjoying it. When would she not be able to see or hear

Laurel: like a dead fish situation

Mack: or She's getting blindfolded

Nichole: and ear unplugged.

Yeah. Yeah. With headphones over there like canceling,

Daniel: you get like a, um, a, a sensory deprivation tank with a glory hole. Yeah. I'm like, yeah, yeah. Okay. she enjoys feeling someone inside her until the orgasms becomes so intense that she can't take it anymore after a brief respite time.

He is ready to come a second time. Gripping. That is the reason we knew we were soulmates from our first long weekend date together. Aww. '

Laurel: cause he has a short refractory period. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. That's all I require in a soulmate.

Mack: Yeah,

Laurel: it's easy. Get up and go, come on.

Daniel: you all wanna look, see some pictures of these folks? Mm-hmm. Show

Nichole: that's it. That's, they don't say what they want.

Daniel: I think that is, this is just an opportunity for dude to jerk off while, like, while writing his own, writing his profile.

Yeah. It's an erotic process for him. Yeah,

Mack: yeah, yeah. He's just bragging honestly. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. He's like, she comes like four times.

Laurel: I'm so

Daniel: good.

Laurel: And I can like, I can come again.

Daniel: Yeah. Yeah.

So this is the photo that they open with

Mack: Wow. It's their marriage photo.

Wow. It's, this is their marriage

Nichole: photo. It's, it's their, it's, it's their wedding day. and for a, uh, a clue as to when this photo was taken, it looks like she may have shoulder pads in her wedding dress. Yes.

Daniel: No, it's giving eighties. Yes. Yeah, this was directly after the 48 hour blow job. They're like,

Mack: you cap,

Daniel: you cap the fucking weekend, right?

Yeah. That's one. It's a keeper.

Mack: Yeah.

Daniel: Well, it's a clincher.

Mack: Get the to the chapel, you know?

Nichole: Oh, this is the Ren fare.

Mack: Yeah. I do like, I like that honestly.

Nichole: I mean, yeah,

Mack: they're down to have fun and eat some Turkey legs on the couch naked with their friends. Right.

Daniel: Yeah. This was, this looks like, um, when he was at his like.

Uh, his jolly Bart, like the most, most bareness of Yeah, of the gentleman. Like he's got like a kind of a, a Henry VIII kind of look.

Laurel: I would need, you know, like when somebody goes missing and then they like age the photo.

Mm-hmm. Like on the news and they're like, this is what they would look like now, 14 years later. Yeah. Have you seen this person? That's what I would need to have happen. To know if these are the same people. True. Mm-hmm. Yes. I would need a, a computer, uh, that operates with DOS to run a program. Sauce. Yeah.

Mack: But one thing I have to point out, Daniel, is you were holding out on the statistics on the profile, which is with their interests.

Daniel: Why are you keeping information from us? Uh, yeah, I think

Mack: that's exciting. Yeah.

they don't want males. Yeah. This is a straight man. They don't care if you

Daniel: smoke. They don't care if you drink and your age could be anywhere from 18 years old to 99 years old. Oh my God. Wow.

Mack: Wow. Okay.

Daniel: Yeah.

Mack: Thank you. I just felt like we all needed to hear that. Yeah. Yeah. We

Daniel: and I believe this is probably what they look like today,

Nichole: Probably,

Daniel: oh yeah, they're at Denny's. What a fucking downhill trip from the Ren fa to Denny's. Wow. Yeah. What, what happened in the like 15 years in between those pictures where they're just like, now we're just, we're gonna be at. Denny's couple instead of a fucking Ren Fa couple.

Nichole: You can't be a Ren fa Fair couple every weekend.

Yeah, that's, there's not

Mack: enough Ren Fas for that. No. Yeah. Wait, is that barbecue on the plate?

Laurel: It looks like it. It is. It looks like a whole rack of rib or something.

Daniel: And strangely they're not naked. Yeah. Yeah.

Laurel: They're

Mack: fully clothed. Yeah. How dare False advertising. Absolutely. Yeah.

Laurel: they don't talk about anything about other people. I'm gonna give them like a two on rules

Nichole: Yeah. They literally, they don't describe anything about what they're looking for. Mm-hmm. It is just the history of this couple. Mm-hmm. And how and when they first fucked.

Daniel: Mm-hmm. Then again, there is like a setting and process of operations that it feels like they are comfortable with.

Yeah. Mm-hmm. They're like, so what we really want is for you to come over, drop your clothes at the door. Yeah. Have some barbecue.

Laurel: They probably have like a little bin by the door that you put your clothes in. Mm-hmm. And

Daniel: then another bin where you pick up some barbecue and they lock it. Yeah, they lock the bin.

Uhhuh,

Laurel: you can't get to the barbecue bin until you lock bin. It's a reward system. Oh yeah.

Daniel: The

Mack: barbecue's

Daniel: so gross. They don't, they don't fucking feed you the fucking ribs until you fucked. You have to earn it. Yeah.

I don't think it matters to them who you are. You just need to be a warm body. Yeah. Well, obviously

Nichole: 18 to 99. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they don't care.

Mack: But you can't be

Daniel: a

Mack: male.

Nichole: Yeah.

Daniel: Yeah.

Nichole: I don't know that they know

Daniel: what a male is,

Nichole: what the entire, they're like, we want full swap. This is just a wild guess that they're not looking for lesbian couples. No. Something tells me that they're looking for hetero couples and so they do need a man.

Daniel: couples are one of their top interests. Yeah, so I guess that means you know, you just get a dick with the package, like included in box. I don't think that there's a no Dick's rule.

It's just like Dick must be accompanied by pussy at all times.

Mack: I think what happened is

Daniel: this guy was filling it out and he got

Mack: lost in the sauce. He was trying to do it as a couple. Yes. But then he was like, oh no, I don't wanna fuck guys. And he was answering for himself. I think that's exactly it. Yes. On point.

Daniel: they're both listed as bicurious.

Mack: Oh,

Daniel: interesting. Huh. Yeah.

Mack: That is new info dropped. Yeah. You've inspired me to look at the, uh, stats. Fucking stats. The stats. Oh, that's what I would look, I would not read the thing. I'd just look at the stats.

If I was trying to find someone on this.

Daniel: by the way, uh, I'll give them a fucking four on arbitrary rules. 'cause I'm, I'm giving, I'm bouncing them up a little bit because of this very precise nude barbecue,

Nichole: yeah, I just don't know how arbitrary that is.

I would, I'm gonna say a three. Okay.

Mack: yeah, I was gonna go four. Yeah. Okay.

Nichole: Mm-hmm. All right. Um, self-aggrandizement, is it a brag that Yeah. You show that you go to the Ren Fair?

Mack: Oh, yeah.

Daniel: I feel like the brags are mostly like on her behalf from him, where he talks about Multiorgasmic.

He also says that he can go again. Like after just a short rest, but he's, he is like 74, so short rest means like three hour nap.

Nichole: Yeah. Aw. I think also I. It's kind of a brag that she like immediately sucked his dick upon meeting him. Oh yeah. That's a brag. That's a brag. Yeah. And she

Mack: was like on it the whole time, like in the car, all the, all the way to the, you know, on the drive home, which we don't know how long it was.

Like it could have been an hour. I dunno. I'm shocked he

Nichole: didn't include that information.

Daniel: I'm trying to think about the times when I have, received head while. Driving. Um, and I don't think I would've wanted it to go on for a drive that was any longer than like 10 to 15 minutes. Like, then you're like, like just like sweating on the fucking freeway. Like, you know, like, yeah. Yeah.

Laurel: I am like very middle of the road with this.

Yeah. I'm at like a five or six. Mm-hmm.

Mack: I think

Nichole: that's accurate. Yeah. Yeah. I was gonna say a five. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Daniel: I'll go six.

Nichole: Mm-hmm.

Mack: yeah, like a five. I mean, I don't know. I think he is bragging, but he could go bigger with it honestly. So yeah, it could be worse. Yeah. There's also no boat. There's no boat. Yeah. It could always be worse. The Denny's was humble.

It brought my number down.

Nichole: Oh boy. Alright.

Daniel: Wood, we unicorn.

Laurel: They're a little outta my age bracket. I'm just, I'm,

Daniel: you're in their

Mack: age bracket.

Laurel: You're 18 to 99 years old. This is, this is true. This is very true. I'm just afraid I'm gonna like, like somebody's gonna die and then I'm gonna have to deal with that. Mm-hmm. Like in the middle of the encounter.

Daniel: would you be at all like flattered to have been the uh, the way someone goes, like went with a smile on his face?

Laurel: Maybe a little bit. I would definitely talk

Daniel: about it on the pod.

Mack: Yeah. Good

Daniel: feel

Laurel: for

Mack: this?

Yeah. Okay. So maybe

Laurel: I would do it for the pod.

Daniel: Yeah. If there was a guarantee at least of a cardiac event.

Mack: Yeah,

Laurel: yeah. Yeah. Okay. Alright. You're convincing me. Would you?

Mack: I need to know how good the barbecue is.

Laurel: Fair? Yes. Fair question. Because if they're

Mack: really good at barbecue, yeah. Like I'd hang out naked with them and let them finger me or whatever.

Yeah. I don't think I would go like super far sexually with them, but if I get some good barbecue out of it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Daniel: Hugs and kisses. Yeah. Are you okay? Are you okay with, with. Kisses and long hugs. We'll

Mack: see. We'll see where it

Daniel: goes. Yeah. Maybe while you're trying to eat barbecue. Yeah. No, not

Mack: while I'm eating.

Yeah.

Nichole: No, me,

Daniel: you,

Nichole: I mean, no, but this is the thing. Surprise. Surprise. This is the thing. Mm-hmm. Is. I respect their commitment to sexuality in their age. Yeah. Like I, I would not unicorn for them, but would I spend. Afternoon playing canasta and asking them questions probably.

Mack: Well, that's the thing is sharing barbecue with them seems good. Like having, having sex with them doesn't, but like Yeah, but

Nichole: hanging out.

Yeah. I mean, I learned a lot. Yeah. I learned a lot about them, but mm-hmm. It seems like there could be more to mine there. Mm-hmm. And I don't have any grandparents, so I feel they could be your grandparents. Yeah. I

Daniel: saw a swinger. Grandparents. This is what we all need to, um, I would not, Because despite the fact that they seem kind of sweet, Mm-hmm. But still, he just seems. Dumb as a bag of bricks. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Look into his eyes and all he sees is like road head, you know? Wow. It's just a, it's like one of those Wow. Um, Zoe tropes that she's just spinning. And the horse, the horse is running and his wife's head is just bobbing up and down. Oh my god, Dick.

Laurel: Wow. Daniel's like, you're too stupid for me to sleep with you. Wow. Well, you're

Mack: a sleep or sexual. Ew,

Laurel: did I say a bad

Nichole: word? So

Mack: Well, would it persuade you if the woman made a profile? And she was really thoughtful though. Oh, huh, good question. Um.

Daniel: it's possible. Is this a blended family where one half is super dumb and the other Yeah. She's like fucking brilliant. Yeah.

Nichole: Yeah. Have you met us?

Daniel: I'm going to interpret that exactly how I want to.

Laurel: thank you Mac. Thank you Mac.

Daniel: thank you. Mac.

Nichole: That was so much fun. That was delightful. That was a good, good time. Yeah,

Daniel: That was such a wonderful segment. I now need a little pallet cleanser. I need something bad to do. Should we? Should we, should we

Laurel: Something bad to do?

Daniel: Yeah. I need, so I need something that's gonna be really not enjoyable. So how about we talk about our exes?

Laurel: Yay. Yay.

Daniel: Auto. Next segment. Ask the amateurs.

Laurel: Read us the question.

Daniel: Ex check time nail painting emoji.

Nichole: Mm-hmm. Okay.

Daniel: Listen. Listen.

A new sparkle in my life asked me about my relationship with my exes and I said that it was great. Amicable breakups. Just not the right fit. You know how it goes. later with my pod, I got heat. 'cause apparently being friends with two of my exes doesn't count. And my apparent laundry list of exes I don't talk to anymore overshadows that.

But in realness, it was a fun share fest. Now I want to ask you, how's your relationship with exes? Huh? Huh?

How many amicable or not breakups have you had? How many do you keep in touch with? Listen, you'll be our benchmark. So don't make us all look too bad.

Laurel: Mm.

Daniel: K Oh wait, is that

Laurel: k,

Daniel: k,

Laurel: k?

Daniel: There's no question mark. So I was wondering if it's just like Kubert, you know,

Nichole: don't, could be. Or it could be like K, K, K,

Laurel: K,

Daniel: K,

Nichole: K,

Laurel: k.

Nichole: Okay.

Laurel: see, for a long time I think that I probably describe myself much like this person did. Like, oh yeah. I have a lot of like amicable breakups sort of thing, and I think that my track record has just dive bombed in the last three years. ' cause almost all of my recent exes, I do not talk to some more intentionally than others.

Daniel: to be fair, you also do cap most of the relationships with a detailed breakdown on the podcast. So that kind of, that's kind of like a, like we specialize in burning bridges here.

Laurel: That's just two of them. Neither of them listen to the pod. I didn't say anything that they don't know.

Nichole: Yeah.

Laurel: I would say though, I also probably have a lot more breakups recently than in my monogamous years.

Nichole: Hmm.

Daniel: Yeah. Who's got time to keep up with all the people that you've broken up with? With all the exes?

Yeah.

Daniel: Like that's just too much.

Laurel: Okay. In recent history, I would say, ,

like hater of dogs. Obviously I'm not talking to right now.

Daniel: Yes.

Laurel: Yeah. Obviously Harry Nevada is sort of like a petty bitch. I'm not talking to you kind of thing. 'cause some, like, I came across something the other day that made me think of him and I almost sent it to him and then I was like, no.

Nichole: Yeah,

Laurel: no, because you were mean to me and

Laurel: And then the ex before that it's not that I'm not talking to her, I'm certain she's not talking to me.

Nichole: Yeah, yeah,

Laurel: Which like, I wouldn't mind, I have no bad blood there.

Nichole: Right.

Laurel: But

Nichole: that was just kind of

Laurel: Yeah. Eh, eh, and then the one before that alcoholic.

Nichole: Yeah,

Laurel: yeah,

Nichole: That was an ultimatum.

Laurel: Yes.

Nichole: with you, for the longest time, I described you as somebody who like has partners that just kind of morph into friends, but you still consider them partners.

I thought that's what you did with all of your exes,

Daniel: not some she murders and berries.

Nichole: I'm just saying I have seen the growth that you have made.

Laurel: I don't just like tie them to a lot of helium balloons and watch them drift off.

Daniel: Yeah,

Nichole: that's true. You don't do that anymore.

Daniel: Yeah. This is actually, I like this like phrasing, laurel's decisiveness.

Nichole: Don't you think she's more decisive?

Daniel: Yeah, more decisive and actually cutting people out of her life who are a bad influence, who, who hurt you.

Nichole: truly like I have seen you make some good choices for yourself.

Laurel: Thank you.

Nichole: And it, it makes me happy.

Laurel: Thanks. Yeah.

Nichole: Now on the other side of the spectrum. Is me who, like Xs are dead to me.

I don't talk to one person who's an ex,

Laurel: really not a one.

Nichole: Let's see. Um, one of them was doing heroin behind my back the whole time.

Daniel: I just imagined him actually like standing behind you when you were turning around

Nichole: that actually, that actually wouldn't surprise me. He would be so bold as to do that. Wow. But also just like side note, I received an unhinged LinkedIn message from his secret girlfriend who had moved out to Portland to be with him, only to discover that he had a live-in girlfriend.

They met this person who sent me the unhinged, uh. LinkedIn message.

, met my ex on a shoegaze forum.

Laurel: Oh wow.

Nichole: Okay. Nice, nice, nice, nice, nice.

Daniel: This makes every time you say unhinged, I think it's a separate website.

Nichole: Unhinged LinkedIn.

Daniel: It's for, it's for exes specifically,

Nichole (2): like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Linked out,

Nichole: before that was the guy that broke up with me because he said I was too fat.

Later wrote me letters, um, and then sent me photos of the letters that he wrote me that he couldn't give me, and then sent me photos of the paintings that he did of me that went straight to the garbage.

, Those paintings made me look like Woody Allen. I don't know what the fuck he was he was doing.

Daniel: he would, he would just do, he would just do erotic, like portraits of all his fucking partners and they all just end up like being portraits of Woody Allen, just with Woody Allen face.

It's like when Robert Crumb had an erotic like attraction to Bugs Bunny when he was like a teenager. Oh

Laurel: my God. Okay. Yeah. So he didn't actually send you like a picture of the content of the letter so you could read it. It was just like

Nichole: a picture. Here is a picture of a 30 page letter that I wrote. To you that I'm did not send you.

Laurel: Did you respond to him at all?

Nichole: Absolutely not. No. And then he kept showing up at my apartment and he kept showing up at my old work. Oh my God. Yeah. No, this was bad. It was really bad.

So yeah. So why the fuck would I be friends with any of those people? Like

Laurel: Yeah. Fair.

Nichole: Yeah. It's really, yeah. I would say for some women, it's hard to be friends with male exes. Yeah. Because most of the time they're not great.

Daniel: Um, mine are a mixed bag.

Nichole: Mm-hmm.

Daniel: Like, I feel like I shun, like go through them one by one, but as you guys were talking, you know, I was like, okay, what are the kind of categories for how exes show up or don't show up in my life currently?

Nichole: Mm-hmm.

Daniel: There are , a lot of exes who I'm still really good close friends with Stacey.

Nichole: Yep.

Daniel: Cindy.

Nichole: Mm-hmm.

Daniel: Francis.

Nichole: Mm-hmm.

Daniel: , There are some exes even from way, way back in the day that I'm still in contact with.

Nichole: Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Daniel: Um, then.

Daniel (2): Spoiler alert I absolutely have at least two exes who are like, you were a shitty, shitty boyfriend.

Mm-hmm.

Nichole: But do you admit to being a shitty boyfriend?

Daniel: I would say, uh, if this is still hypothetically two Xs mm-hmm. Then I'm gonna say one of them is right and the other is wrong.

Nichole: Okay. Okay. Alright.

Daniel: Yeah, yeah,

Nichole: yeah.

Daniel: then there's like just exes that I don't talk to where there's not necessarily any bad blood at all.

Nichole: Mm-hmm.

Daniel: Because they're like, it was just about me not being able to get over. My usual entry turbulence of being a good communicator.

Nichole: Mm-hmm.

Daniel: Like shitty texting Daniel, right? Mm.

Nichole: Yeah.

Daniel: Uh,

Nichole: okay.

Daniel: Yeah.

Nichole: All right. Early in our relationship.

Daniel: Mm-hmm.

Nichole: Daniel and I, it's like super early. Um, we don't live together yet, and I text him,

Laurel: what if you guys lived together before you were in a relationship?

Nichole: That would be

Laurel: a different story. Like, you didn't even know each other at all. You're just like, lived. You're like, huh, this person lives here. Weird.

Nichole: Um, I sent him a text Uhhuh that was like, Hey, babe, I really love waking up next to you.

Laurel: Mm-hmm.

Nichole: Like, I'm so, like, I'm really grateful that I was able to wake up next to you.

It was so great, blah, blah, blah. He waits a full 24 hours to respond, and what does he respond with?

Laurel: Okay.

Nichole: Same.

Laurel: Oh my God.

Nichole: Do you know that you did that? Oh God. He can't even deny it because he absolutely fucking did that.

Daniel: I'm, I'm not sure if it went down exactly like that, but what

Nichole: it did. But,

Daniel: but it is a, it is a credible story.

Laurel: It, what

Nichole: were

Laurel: you thinking?

Daniel: Fucking time warp is what happens with me. Oh.

Laurel: like 24 hours, whatever. I know you do that all the time.

Nichole: All the time.

Laurel: But that you, that you then were like, same.

Daniel: I'm sure. Then I wrote something after. Same. Same was the first message among several.

Nichole: I really don't think so.

Daniel: Yeah. So there's like this whole other category of partners who are just like, this was energy that I put into you, Daniel, that you did not like give back. Mm-hmm. And so it's usually them who are like, you know, ,

Laurel: annoyed with you.

Daniel: Exactly.

I'm usually like, let's be friends still.

Nichole: You think the French troll, let's be friends.

Daniel: Pop out of the toilet.

Laurel: Let's be friends. Look in my jeed belly button.

Nichole: I have a couple theories as to like why you have more friends who are actively a part of our lives. one of them was my naturopath for quite a while. This is

Daniel: true.

You probably in a professional setting showed your vagina to one of my exes.

Nichole: 1000%. Yeah. Yes. And in a non-professional setting. Absolutely.

Daniel: Sure.

Nichole: Um,

Laurel: this is very unprofessional

Nichole: and that's what she said. Um,

Laurel: it was at your work.

Nichole: Oh, that'll be the day.

Daniel: She was just describing like qualitatively your vagina. This is a very unprofessional, vagina

Nichole: But I wonder if it is the quality of people that you. Date. if it is the age of these folks, like coming up, like not being millennials, but being Gen X, at least a couple of them.

Laurel: Yeah.

Nichole: it could be not to like generalize, but it could also be just like the gender of person. You know what I mean? Like, I don't have any friendly ex-boyfriends.

Laurel: I also think a big part of it is proximity.

Nichole: Mm. Yes.

Laurel: Because you're, you're like born and raised here.

Nichole: Yeah, that's true.

Laurel: And I've moved around a lot.

Is it virtuous to be friends with your ex?

Nichole: I think this is what this person is asking.

Laurel: Yeah.

Daniel: I think sometimes yes, sometimes no. It's virtuous to be friends with a virtuous ex.

Laurel: Yeah,

Nichole: yeah,

Laurel: yeah.

Daniel: Mm-hmm. And sometimes it's a virtue not to be friends with. Unvirtuous exes and you stubbert you get to decide because you are a fan of the podcast.

Laurel: We give decision privileges.

Daniel: Yes. Yeah.

Laurel: To our listeners,

Daniel: we believe you.

Nichole: I feel like you always have a problem with my dead to me list, but just look at the quality of man that I have dated.

Daniel: Now, to be fair, I respect your dead to me list and I think a dead to me list can be a really useful thing. , the, the draft for your Dead to me list is particularly wide range.

Nichole: The speed at which somebody ends up on the dead to me list.

Daniel: Yeah. They just do a Pratt fall where they're walking down the street, like slip on the banana peel of malfeasance. Mm-hmm. And then they are just on their dead to me list.

Nichole: I get that. I get that. Okay.

Laurel: Daniel thinks that my dead to me list is too discerning and yours is not discerning enough.

Daniel: I think you guys are good influences on each other.

On your, like the aperture of your dead to me lists the suit

Nichole: on that and that alone because you really hate when we quote unquote gang up on you or when we exchange looks.

Daniel: Do you think you two have like gotten to be more like each other?

Nichole: I don't think so.

Laurel: Yeah, I don't think so either.

Nichole: I think we've just uncovered things that are similar.

Laurel: Yeah.

Nichole: and we've gotten to experience one of the joys of polyamory, which is that validation of the things that your partner does being witnessed by somebody else.

Laurel: Mm-hmm.

Daniel: I'm sorry that I ever tried to take that away from you.

Nichole: You should be,

Laurel: yeah.

Daniel: I will try and do more embarrassing things on a daily basis moving forward.

Laurel: You don't have to try.