Nichole: So there is a porn star, his name is pt. He goes by pt. His name is Paul Thomas, not Paul Thomas Anderson who was married to my favorite Nepo baby of all time. I Rudolph,

Paul Thomas, he was in the film adaptation of Jesus Christ Superstar.

He played Peter. I grew up watching that movie. Oh. I grew up worshiping that movie. I had no fucking clue that a porn star was like one of one of the disciples. Wow. And definitely The one that has singing in the, in the range that I can hit. And so whenever it's his song, I'm like, singing along.

You're singing along

Daniel: I I realize this is a thing with you. This is,, a shit Nicole does.

Nichole: Hmm.

Daniel: You tell like Hollywood facts as though they are elaborate conspiracy theories that you are putting together.

It's like you guys, you guys, this is a Paul Thomas, but not that Paul Thomas Anderson and Paul Thomas Anderson is married to Maya Rudolph, but in Jesus Christ Superstar. And by the time we get to the end, I am like. Yeah, I am. I'm just gazing at you lovingly, honey. I,

Nichole: oh my God. I don't know why.

It's interesting. It's just , I also find, you know, the Vin Diesel, like Michael Kane friendship. Fascinating. Yeah. You love that friendship. I really do. I also love George Clooney and Richard kind. Like that is also a friendship that I'm like, what the fuck?

Daniel: I mean, Richard Kind is friends with everybody.

He's like, he's like a copy barer.

Nichole: He's like, bosom

Daniel: buddies with George Clooney, though. Like, they're like really close. You like are into celebrity friendships. The way that people are like into those those unlikely animal friendship calendars.

Laurel: I have a book of unlikely animal friendships

Daniel: and, and George Clooney and George Clooney.

Richard Kind. It's just like, this is like a puppy and Seal. Ostrich and Platypus and then Richard Kind. Okay. Wait idea George Clooney

Laurel: idea. Because you know how there's like free libraries everywhere. Yes. In Portland. So you take books like this one we're describing where, so I take my unlikely animal friendships books.

Mm-hmm. And then I add in pages of celebrity stuff and make it look a real possible and then put them into free libraries. Yes. Or I just have one in front of my house that's just of altered books, but like, yes. This is a really good idea. Right?

Daniel: And then after a few celebrities, so you start them on the, like the animal friendships, right?

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And then they, they flip a few pages and then they're like, oh, well this is, this is interesting, but maybe this is just, you know, an extension of the theme. And then you put pictures of us in there and then we are both famous and cute.

Nichole: I was wondering by

Daniel: association,

Nichole: I was wondering when the promotion of the poly amateur hour was gonna come into this idea.

It turns out anything we bring up can turn into some kind of

Daniel: PPS.

Nichole: Yeah, yeah, yeah. So do you have a poly pyramid scheme? wait, I'm so sorry. Welcome to Poly Amateur Hour. I'm Daniel. And

Laurel: I'm Laurel. I'm Nicole. Go on.

I'm just gonna say the most effective way to get me to have a conversation with you on a dating app is to tell me that you love my podcast. Oh my God.

And you could be lying, but I'm like, oh, thank you so much. I will respond to this. So I think by extension, put it in your profile and be like, What's your favorite podcast? Mine's poly Amateur Hour. This is my favorite episode. tell me what you like about it.

Nichole: Oh, shit. So yeah. Get other people to listen.

Yeah. In a, as a way to date you. Yeah,

Daniel: Like listing Poly Amateur Hour as an interest. Yeah. And like, like, are you in this

Nichole: specific episode?

Daniel: Yeah. Well, well, I wanna know what you think of this. Like, it's those prompts on Hinge. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like the question, what do you think about Poly Amateur Hour, episode number 52?

Nichole: Yeah. I was trying to think of like what episodes people would listen to their favorites. And I'm like, if it's the Angry Nicole episode, I swear to God

Poly: that becomes our, like most

Laurel: listened to episode overnight

Poly: for a while

Nichole: it was the, uh, Yom Kippur specialist. Right. That was hilarious.

Daniel: Um, well maybe this episode will be people's favorite moving forward. You know, our, if we're gonna give it like a, an official, uh, title a definite article.

Is this the Surprise Pope episode? Oh, yeah. Could be. Is it a Pope iop?

Nichole: Oh my God.

Daniel: Welcome to Pope IOP Poll In Public Invasion of Pro.

Poll in Public Invasion of Prezi is when we look at all the provi details of polyamory in the public.

Basically when we see polyamory show up in the media mm-hmm. Or on the street or at our neighborhood cafe or

Laurel: staple to a telephone pole in your neighborhood. Yeah.

Nichole: so I know nothing about this

Laurel: So the Vatican, recently released a defense of monogamy. so the like initial headlines that I saw about it were basically like, poop. This is polyamory.

Oh. the original statement was just in Italian, I think.

Daniel: Like, yes. But it is 20,000 words.

Laurel: Whoa. Wow. Like, but Italians, the Germans who have one word to describe a very complex

Daniel: 60, 60% of those 20,000 words are see C, C, C.

Nichole: Okay. But in this, I'm just gonna ask right off the bat, is it a dis on polyamory? Is the word polyamory or polyamory anywhere in here? Or is it actually just in defense of monogamy? It is

Daniel: both.

Nichole: Okay. Yeah.

Daniel: Um, they actually use the word polyamory.

Laurel: Yeah. Whoa. Yeah.

Daniel: And non-monogamy. to discuss the rise of these dangerous licentious, postmodern.

Lifestyle choices.

Laurel: Yeah. There were some interesting quotes in there that were like,

Nichole: wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. That, like

Laurel: the logic, it was just, it was very, religious fanatic logic that goes into some of these. 'cause it was like, postmodern, consumerist, individualism, is part of the rise of polyamory, which is why we have to get back to monogamy, specifically marriage between one man and one woman to like create community again.

Which, obviously is very like antithetical, I think, to the way that many people look at polyamory as establishing anti-capitalist. Anti consumerist. Yes. Yeah, yeah. Anti

Daniel: individualistic. So here, here is a paraphrase and summary and quote translation. All of these things from the National Catholic Register.

It said that polygamy, adultery, or polyamory having multiple committed relationships at the same time are based on the illusion that the intensity of the relationship can be found in the succession of faces. It's like psychedelic man. What?

Laurel: Yeah.

Daniel: but the document emphasized that multiplying faces. Not facials in a supposed total union means fragmenting the meaning of marital love.

Nichole: Isn't the new Pope American?

Daniel: Yes. Popa, Popa, Americana.

Nichole: Maybe he didn't know what he was writing because he doesn't speak Italian

Laurel: American, did he? Okay. Was it the Pope that actually issued the statement? No, the pope's

Daniel: got a big rubber pope stamp and he just approved the statement.

Laurel: Okay. Yeah. So it was from the Vatican.

It was from the Vatican. Also an interesting part of this that the article opens up with, with, actually I kind of liked the reporting from this Catholic,

Daniel: the one I shared.

Laurel: Yeah. Yeah. Because also I was like, I wonder how often they reported on pedophilia, and so I searched their website. Yeah. And they are on it.

They were like, we broke the story of the Catholic Church pedophilia back in 1985. Read our article. Like this is an interesting source of information.

Daniel: I'm curious , if the fucking Vatican has ever issued a 20,000 word condemnation of pedophilia. Pedophilia,

Laurel: yes. I'm also very curious about that.

Da t Yeah. Da tit. Yeah.

Daniel: Honestly, I'm a little flattered. they're thinking of us, like we are on, we're on their mind, and it's kind of like, what, what is the, um.

Nichole: Barbara Streisand Effect. Exactly. Yes. Yes. The Barbara

Daniel: Streisand effect, where they're like, we must defend monogamy , against polyamory because monogamy is so, so safe that it is vital that we,

Laurel: that we mobilize the troops.

Maybe this is why our listens are up this week.

Oh, people are like,

Daniel: I'm looking the same. The Vatican

Laurel: said What? And so they just Google polyamory? Yeah. who, who was like, no, no. Press is bad press. I don't know the guy first. Yeah, he does seem like that kind of guy. Yeah. He's got a castle.

He's got a castle. He got some

Nichole: zebras. A castle that my grandmother hated, really hated. I liked the blue pool. She said, Nico, it is just a mishmash of all sorts of different S and cultures, and I think it is so ugly. Listen, Nicole's grandmama.

Laurel: I know. You can't ' cause you 'cause you're dead. You're dead. But listen, that is the American way, man. That's so true. Right? Yeah. It turns out that they issue this whole thing because African bishops are coming to them. Worried about the state of polygamy in their communities because there's

Daniel: traditional polygamy

Laurel: Yeah.

In African cultures. Yeah.

Daniel: Some.

Laurel: I felt a little like shafted then.

Daniel: No, but it is both. It's both. They are definitely thinking about us

Laurel: specifically

Daniel: and men in Nigeria, but, but mostly us.

Nichole: So they are equating polygamy and polyamory in the same And adultery. And adultery. Yeah.

Daniel: like the few quotes that they have read, like a rant. it just , jumps from like argument to argument as far as why monogamy is good.

Why polyamory and or polygamy are dangerous.

Laurel: Yeah.

Daniel: it's not coherent. well, I mean, it, it feels coke fueled.

Laurel: I mean, you're, you're reading excerpts I feel like be hard to,

Daniel: it has not been translated into English wholesale yet, so we're just relying on mainly Catholic press.

Nichole: is Catholic Press out of the United States

Daniel: I think the National Catholic Register. Yes.

Nichole: cause I'm just curious like what the response is with like American audiences, American Catholic audiences, and American not Catholic audiences.

I mean, I don't know, we, since we haven't heard from any of our friends across the ponds. Both ponds, yeah. Yeah. Hey, we don't know what polyamory is like in other countries except for Australia. we do know that polyamory in the United States is pervasive enough that Dr.

Phil had to put out an episode about it, this year?

Daniel: Yeah.

Nichole: Right.

Daniel: First, Dr. Phil, then the Pope

Nichole: we're getting all the heavy hitters. Um,

so I'm just wondering like what the response has been. In the United States, if we have any like comments on the article or like, did the New York Times pick this up at all?

Are there any New York Times comments?

Daniel: non-Catholic media has really not picked this up much. Oh, interesting. So I have had actual trouble finding sources that were not Catholic newspapers. Huh. The one exception is that people in the polyamorous community, like poly influencers are all up on it.

Gloating. Just like I was doing. Yeah. Like, 'cause we're on the Pope's mind.

Nichole: Yeah. All right.

Daniel: He thinks a lot about old movies. Baseball and us

Nichole: in Chicago dogs.

Laurel: Thank you Pope. Wow. This one goes out to the Vatican. where do you think we'll plateau, you know, 'cause like everyone's like, transgenderism is on the rise. Transgenderism. Yeah. And it's like, no, just like The amount of visible transgender people Yeah.

Yes. Is on the rise. Yes. What, what

Daniel: it's been is a long process of people realizing that there was such a thing as being transgender, that they could be

Laurel: Yeah. Yeah. Starting

Daniel: from zero, about a hundred years ago.

Laurel: Yes. Yeah. And they show all the same things with like, you know, gay lesbian communities. Yeah.

Like, yeah. There was a rise in people outwardly identifying as that, or visibly identifying as such and then it plateaus.

Nichole: I mean, I get, I hung up on anything being on the rise. Oh yeah. When it comes to like social sciences. Yeah. Like they say like, depression is on the rise amongst teenagers.

I'm like, no. I think teenagers have always been depressed. They just haven't had the vocabulary nor the people to talk to talk to about it. Yeah.

Laurel: It's like, it should just be a measure of public awareness of gay people. That's what it should be. Yes. Measure a public awareness of trans people.

Daniel: Yeah. And they wanna hide all the gay and trans and poly people when really they should.

We should just be putting bags over the heads of the sensitive people so they can don't have to see us.

Nichole: Yeah. Yes. Snowflakes, I think there. More of us than we think there are one. Yeah. You know, and so many

Daniel: faces.

Nichole: that's the main, the succession of faces. That's the main threat.

That really sounds super psychedelic it sounds like. you visualize

Laurel: that, right?

Daniel: Does the, does the pope still think that the internet is hot or not?

Laurel: Yeah, it's Hamsterdam. Hamsterdam. Hamsterdam. It's hamsterdam. We are beavers.

Daniel: Beavers. Damn hamsters. Dance, dance, dance.

Laurel: It's hamster dance. Yes.

Nichole: And Homestar

Daniel: runner, you know what the succession of faces reminded me of?

What is like the experience of cashiering at a grocery store during the holidays? Yeah, And it got me thinking about, , that experience is super, super exhausting in a very specific way because of the succession of faces.

Laurel: One of the quotes in there that was about like the. Ultra consumerist. Mm-hmm. Whatever individualistic society was like, everyone's so stressed out now, they don't even wanna date anymore because dating is stressful. And I don't know why that was like a knock on polyamory. 'cause we're dating way more than anybody else's.

You can't have it

Nichole: both ways.

Laurel: Yeah. There's

Nichole: so many contradictions here. capitalist individualist is based on the nuclear family and the nuclear family being the structure. Yeah. Like in which we each have our own individual house. Two parents, double income parents with kids that they're sending off to college.

Right. And then to say like, people aren't dating anymore. Or so they're just going straight to polyamory. That also doesn't make sense because we are dating way more and, and it defines polyamory as multiple committed relationships. Yeah. So that's just not, what are they

Laurel: actually trying to say?

Do you think that they had chat GPT write this

Daniel: C-C-Z-C-C-C-Z

Nichole: chat to J pt

Daniel: GPT if you are, if you are other Pope or what do you think, or what do you think of

Laurel: the Pollyanna? If you're Italian, please write into us at poly amateur hour@gmail.com and tell us how much you love our Italian accents. We've been doing a lot of accents.

Nichole: I'm, I'm curious, I'm curious what happens after this.

Daniel: I'm just finally really happy that my two passions are aligning the war on monogamy and the war on Christmas. Oh,

Laurel: yeah. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So now

Daniel: I only have to be a member of one camp. I only have to go to one set of meetings.

Laurel: Finally consolidate.

Nichole: So should we do something that we haven't done in a while, please. And ask the amateurs.

Laurel (2): Yes, please. if you have a question you can email it to us at You can send us a DM on Instagram or Blue Sky at poly amateur Hour, or you can submit it anonymously on our lovely website that I always forget to update.

Poly amateur

Daniel: hour.com. And it makes Nicole really sad when you don't send questions because this is like her favorite segment. Yeah, it's the one where it is. Yeah. It's the one where we, theoretically help people.

Laurel: Yeah. You know, it's her way of showing gratitude. If you wanna come on and do a question with us, like on Zoom or in person, you can also email us and we can set that up.

I would love that. So great

Nichole: so much. Yeah, please, please, please know that that is an option Stewards.

Daniel: just, I mean if, if you're gonna do that, just be aware that we do record in the nude, so

Nichole: Maybe for you, it's a, if you ask a

Daniel: good enough question, oh, I thought you meant maybe I'm the only one who's nude.

It's like a, it's like a close female, nude male situation where you just make me be naked during all recording sessions,

Nichole: but we don't comment on it at all. Yeah, yeah.

Daniel: Or you just glance down and laugh

Nichole: a whole kink onto itself. All right. Okay, so this question, do you think finding partners outside of dating apps is feasible?

If it's feasible, is it responsible? Do polyamorous folks feel a responsibility to represent this community in a favorable light now? Were I to be in dialogue with this steward, I would ask what is the difference between presenting yourself on dating apps and presenting yourself in real life?

Yeah.

Daniel: Well, who cares what they think? They've already had their ask. Now you can ask us.

First, like is it responsible to use dating apps such a succession of faces? I

Nichole: mean, I'm going on a first date with somebody that I met, not on a dating app. Yeah. Laurel, you've met several people.

Yeah. Not on dating

Daniel: apps. I met lots of people not on dating apps.

Nichole: Yeah. It so it is feasible.

Laurel: Mm-hmm. Absolutely. Feasible to me. Preferable. Yeah.

Daniel: More difficult probably in certain ways. I would say I have far fewer in the wild dates than I do.

Laurel: Mm-hmm.

Daniel: Online.

Laurel: I think that's true, I don't know, maybe it's a chicken and the egg situation, did we become so socially anxious and like strike out so much in real life that then dating apps came along and tried to solve this problem for us?

Or is it like, well now we only date on dating apps, so nobody should ever like approach me in public and talk to me, and so we don't like do that anymore.

Daniel: You know, specifically for poly people, I think what this stu is asking about the responsibility of it is like, are we then kind of imposing our surprise polyamory Oh, on people like in the wild and that it's more responsible to be online because you've got poly written on your forehead and lipstick.

Mm. I

Laurel: will always disclose before I ask somebody out, or, oh, of course. Exchange numbers. So that, that like Yeah. Yeah. Is not an issue at that point.

Daniel: but it was a much un more unusual thing to disclose in the wild, let's say like five years ago.

Laurel: Well, it's hard to compare like now versus when it was a lot more taboo Yeah. Kind of thing. even though five years ago I would've disclosed in person anyway, 10 years, I, I would've disclosed Yeah. In person regardless. it's stupid not to disclose.

And I've had this conversation with so many. Men over time. Mm-hmm. Men specifically. 'cause it's like already harder for them to date, theoretically. Yep. Like they have a harder time on apps and whatnot. Mm-hmm. And so it's like, oh, I feel like I'm just like weeding out so much of my pool. And I'm like, that's the pool you want to weed out.

Yeah. Like there is no reason, there's no good reason to hide who you are. Yeah. From someone that you want to be potentially intimately involved with.

Nichole: I think the responsibility question is interesting 'cause I took it in a couple different ways.

Mm. I think it's maybe the experience of a lot of masculine presenting people that hitting on people in, in the world

Laurel: Mm. Is, you know, is a

Nichole: different experience Yeah. Than being a. Femme presenting person and hitting on somebody in the world. So there's that.

And then there's also like if you are a masculine presenting person, hitting on somebody the wild, and you already are partnered, it comes across as, I don't know, potentially creepy, potentially, like just trying to get your rocks off. Like yeah. I can see the different cultural codes that could come with that kind of thing.

Mm-hmm. so I think the disclosure upfront is just the responsible thing to do regardless of who you are.

Laurel: Yes. Yeah. But

Nichole: I also understand some of the baggage that could come with this. Yeah. Dependent on who you are as a person And how you

Daniel: present.

I mean, I think that's why it's so important to like normalize coming out and being out even in a kind of a pre flirtation context.

Mm-hmm. Like just normalize that and then it kind of like comes up naturally when you're talking and people expect it, and then it becomes part of our kind of social responsibility, to help to normalize that by being out in as many contexts as we can feel comfortable being out in. What the, the rough sketch that he is giving of the, the predatory polyamorists or whatever is like the meme of that older couple when you were traveling or whatever. Yeah,

Nichole: yeah.

Daniel: Right. do we feel a social responsibility to not come off like that?

Laurel: Right. Right. And the answer is no.

Daniel: Yeah.

Laurel: here's the thing like women are no strangers to people hitting on them and making them uncomfortable in spots, that is not a polyamory issue.

Correct. That is just like a creepy people issue.

those tropes are often about straight couples.

Daniel: Yes.

Laurel: Mm-hmm. And like honestly, a like a couple hitting on me is way safer to me than a single dude hitting on me.

Nichole: Mm-hmm.

Laurel: just statistically, but also like nobody be creeps, whatever. Just like respect boundaries. Someone doesn't seem interested, just let them not be interested or whatever. Like that's just the respectable, responsible, human thing to do. Yeah. But I think a lot of these other like, oh, do we have a responsibility to like.

Represent polyamory in some kind of light is like the people who hate on that kind of stuff aren't usually responding to like an actual sense of like predation or danger. They are responding to their own sense of discomfort or disgust to polyamory. Mm-hmm. And non-monogamy. Yeah. And that is a them issue

Daniel: usually with some kind of non-consensual, non-monogamy that was forced on them at some point where somebody cheated on them like nine times outta 10.

If somebody is like reacting with this kind of disgust about polyamory, it's because they're equating polyamory with cheating because somebody cheated on them once.

Laurel: Yes, yes.

Nichole: as far as like responsibly representing polyamory, like obviously I'm not really hitting on anybody in the wild. I'm barely hitting on people in the apps, but I am like you sometimes hitting on people in the rooms. I mean, kind of. Yeah. Um,

, But everywhere outside of my work life. I am now, I guess. Pretty out. Yeah. Like I'm out to my family. Mm-hmm. apparently like of, of no choice of my own, but like,

Daniel: oh, we should just, we should discuss this. This is good news and our stewards deserve to know

Nichole: my mother took it upon herself to tell, like, most of my family. So,

Daniel: background, background on this, like

you told your mother? Yeah. And she said something that hurt your feelings Yeah. A little bit and was like, don't tell your dad.

Poly: Yeah.

Nichole: But what did I say?

I said, I really don't think he'll care. Yeah. , You just don't think he'll care either way.

So my mother told my father, she told my uncle, she told my great aunt, she told my aunt, she told, she told basically anyone who would listen at Did she tell them all at the same time?

No, she went on a tour. and then amongst friends, you know, like trying to be as out as possible.

Yeah. And like I do have this friend of the pod,, who is just constantly, just always in awe of like, what we're able to achieve together. Aw. All three of us. Like

Daniel: se sexually

Nichole: No, you know, the, the depth of our relationships and the,

the care with which we treat these relationships. Yeah. You know that we're not just like fucking around all the time. Yeah. well, yes,

Laurel: and well,

Nichole: Laurel is basically, he's just always saying like, you're not doing sloppy polly. Yeah, yeah, But we're not doing that out of a sense of responsibility to the straight world.

We're not, I would say that we're doing that out of responsibility to, for treating other human beings like human beings. Yes. Yes. Yeah. I think we're just showing up as people. Yeah. And it is not in an effort to like demystify what polyamory is, , or make it, make it acceptable in the straight world.

Right.

Daniel: It's also for us too, like we treat people well because it is not good for your mental health to be an asshole in the long run too. I really don't

Nichole: want to keep making

Daniel: amends.

Nichole: So best way to not do that is to cut off contact with everybody and never speak to anybody ever again.

Daniel: Goodbye stupid nation.

Dial tone.

Well you guys, speaking of, Sex. I don't know.

Nichole: You are the king of the transitions today. Yeah. Terrible

Daniel: segues. Yeah. Yeah.

Laurel (2): I'm really excited. We have a guest today on, for our practical poly segment, one of my Blue Sky friends, Polly ex ex ex, Who is a sex worker.

Nichole: And Practical Polly is our segment where we talk to somebody who is providing a service. Being out in the wor what is the service that this person is providing sex

Laurel: work

Daniel: now?

Poly: , I'm delightful.

Daniel: We you, you're delightful. Sorry. Don't be at all. So what, what were you just saying about your delightful face?

Poly: What I was saying about my delightful face is that you guys get this for free money. , And other people, , for some freaking reason wanna pay to see my face. I don't get it. I still, I'm still kind of shocked that people wanna pay money to watch me come. So like, it's all kind of like, it's, it is a, there's a, there's a curve on all of this here.

Nichole: this is making me so happy. It is

Poly: a, oh, it's a valuable resource. Come, Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, are you kidding me? Yeah. Like, it's wild. I'm a 48-year-old woman and had I realized that people would want to see me, little me come on camera ages ago, like, what have I been doing with my life?

God damn. PS for those who are listening at home, , we have a diet cunt shirt on right now, and it is quite possibly my favorite thing that I've ever seen in my life. So I just wanted to put that on the record before we move forward here.

Nichole: I'm so glad that that moment was recorded, because I'm going to listen to it over and over and over again because you said That you liked it? Oh my god, you liked it. My God, you really

Poly: liked it. , I'm wearing actually my favorite shirt. Mm-hmm. it is a queen of hearts wearing sunglasses and looking at her phone.

, this became my thing. 'cause like some people on Blue Sky started calling me Queen. , , because like three people started calling me Queen, like all of a sudden I'm fucking crowned. So, yes. You know? Yes. You're welcome. You are and you're welcome.

I'm just gonna do like a little wave at everybody. Here we go. Yes. Hi. Oh,

Nichole: it's gorgeous. And the lipstick that you're wearing just matches the tenor of red that you're wearing. I, it's. It's it's chef's case. It's a,

Poly: For those who would like to, , achieve my lips. You too. May I have, , it is, , Maybelline, it's like eight 50, , Maybelline matte ink, and it is pioneer and Voyager 50 and 20 Maybelline matte ink. And I do the Pioneer on the outside, I believe, , which is the darker color and then the red inside. And this is how you get the signature Poly Crimson lips. You're welcome. I think this is practical Polly.

Laurel: Yeah. This is, this

Poly: is our se this is our segment. Practical Polly. Okay. Practic. You would, you would be shocked at how fucking practical Polly actually is. It's, it's, it's pretty wild. It's pretty Well, I'm so sorry. I feel like you guys might have like, questions for me and I'm just like, I'm gonna talk about whatever's on my mind.

I mean, honestly, the

Laurel: questions there are just backup if you couldn't tell, we're so excited to have you here.

Poly: I I'm so excited to be here.

Yeah. Like you guys,

Laurel: I'm kind of nerding

Poly: out right

Laurel: now. Yes.

Poly: Like what, what? Yes.

Laurel: Um, funny people like me. Oh my God. I was like, Polly's gonna be so much fucking fun. Like, I can just tell your humor is so apparent.

Like your warmth. Yeah.

Daniel: Yeah.

Laurel: Um, and your hot body. So like, honestly,

Daniel: what? Honestly, I would, I would jerk off to listen to you talk. So

Poly: we probably have people using off right now. Many people do. Many people do. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. But like, sorry, sorry. Let me, let me put on my, like jerking off for your hot body voice.

Okay. Wait. Oh, What is it that you wanted to talk to me about? Hmm. Because I'm here for you. is this shirt too much? Should I take this shirt off?

Nichole: Oh my God. Wow. I mean,

Poly: Like. This is titties.

Laurel: Sorry. Oh my God. Oh my God. So warm and tingly. Woo. What's happening? Yeah, that

Poly: was like,

Daniel: we've been trying to, to increase the queer quotient of Nicole for a long time.

Poly: I think. I think Nicole, I mean, you sounds gay. I'm in,

Daniel: you've been, you've been speaking her language since you come on and by speak.

I love it. And by her language, I mean a fake, sexy French accent.

Poly: Oh, yes. This is, are we, are we Nicole? Nicole, you and I should really get together. Okay.

Nichole: We can't, we can't have you say my name, because that reminds me of my grandmother. Oh, okay. Nico. Yeah. She's a Nico. She

Poly: Nicole. Oh my God. Okay. Sorry. So, Polly, Nikki, Nikki Dooo, I,

Daniel: that, that is exactly what I call her in bed.

How did you know? That's

Poly: amazing. I just, I have a sense of it. I have a, I have a fifth sense about

Nichole: So I'm just, I'm for our listeners. I'm sorry, Nicole. Sorry, Polly. . Yes. Can you, hi. describe your platform. Who you are, what you do.

Poly: My platform. Like, I feel like I am, uh, like a political candidate. Yeah.

orgasms, for all lower taxes. More coming. Okay. so the platforms that I use primarily are Blue Sky is my, like, Hey, everybody barfoot into the world kind of platform.

Poly pollin free me on Blue Sky.

Mm-hmm. Um, I have my only fans, which is my paid platform. my only fans is Poly PolyOne Free as well. I have Discord, which is my, like,, this is where my cool friends hang out. , my discord is on my blue sky. There's a link to join my Discord server. Mm-hmm. It's called Polly's Playground is The name of my server. And then Snapchat is a paid service slash a place where I.

Chit chat with, , other creators and other stuff like that. So I, I have those four main things that I do, and that's so many. So like, bless you all for, like,, asking me if I wanna join Telegram or Ley or all that shit. But like this, A DHD bitch is not able to add another platform because those four are already too many platforms.

We have too many platforms mm-hmm. In my world. Mm-hmm.. Um, Here's the thing about OnlyFans. , I am very theatrical. I know you had no idea. , And my OnlyFans kind of reflects that. So all of my posts on OnlyFans have like a story and there's like a ton of content and I do like lots of co like my, my mundane job has been costume designer for the last 20 years.

How amazing. Um, and so. Yeah. And so like, there's always like, there's always production value involved with my shit, right? God, I love, love that. Um, and so, oh yeah, my darling, my darling, come check out my pussy. It is very fancily, , presented. Anyway, wait, wait, wait, wait. Do you act,

Daniel: do you put the pussy in costume?

Poly: Like,

Daniel: is there, um, we have a little bit Okay. I put, sometimes I put glasses on laurels,

Poly: so did you see my original PO pinned post, which was one of my massive titties with sunglasses on it?

Oh my God. Like that. This is what, that was. My original pinned post is a sunglasses titty. And the fact that you did not show me laurel's, , fanciful whatnot, as part of like inviting me to do this. That true. I'm kind of offended right now. That is true. Yeah. Like I'm a little bit offended right now.

Daniel: we can DM you that shit later on.

We can DM you that shit. Like,

Poly: hi, like you're getting my snap after this, just so I can get all the things motherfuckers. Um, You know, I like to do costumes. All of my posts have like a title. I don't do enough like categorization based on like, Hey, I wanna jerk off to this.

Sorry, everybody. But like, if you wanna go to a place where it's like, uh, jenky is the name of my post that I did my Daphne Cosplay recently kind of thing. Oh, wow. Not Daphne. Velma. I know. Words. Come on now. Um, so God, for God's sakes, not for God's sakes, not Daphne. Oh, dare. How very dare you?

That's the fun thing is that like I get to kind of do whatever the fuck comes to my mind. Mm-hmm. The problem is so many of the fuck things come to my mind and I'm overwhelmed with too many ideas.

So like, What's the last one that I just did? Oh my, um, gothy school girl.

I did a gothy school girl look. I know for a fact that you can only post 40 pieces of media on OnlyFans at a time. Why do I know this? Because I have to cut out my media almost every post like that is how much shit I post when I post. Wow. So like, there's people that post like a couple of pictures a day and they do it every day.

And that's cool. I totally appreciate that. very advent calendar of you. Cool. Um, I do like, I do like fucking here's the song and dance and like it'll have like 25 pictures and like five videos and an audio and a da da da and da da da. Like, I try and like have a smorgasbord of smut, if you will.

So imagine that's, that is my style, a lot of people are like, audio, why? , And it's, that's because I was, I am a horny housewife type, who very much likes audio porn. if somebody wants to know like, how did I go from being this person that does all these vanilla land things, to like, hi, I saw my pussy on the internet.

it goes. . Reading Bridger, tin, and then other s Muddy Books, audio porn. Blue sky only fans. There it is. Ta-da. Your wife is gonna be a fucking slut on the internet because she watches bridger tin. Sorry, everybody. Just kidding. Just kidding. But that is literally my trajectory.

Daniel: So this is recent. Oh my God. This is, this is like, yeah. You're giving me, you're giving me hope I am right around your age. Okay. I was like, okay. we could start our poly amateur, our only fans. Finally, maybe people, maybe people will wanna see my, my, well aged, Jewish tiny body.

Nichole: I do

Poly: babe. She does. I mean, look, you have at least two votes. Yeah. So start with, good for you, babe. Good for you. I love it. I love it. And may I go on record that I always want to see nehi tiny bodies like just bring them on. Bring them on All the things we we're gonna DM you later on.

If I don't get a whole lot of your personal porn after this, I'm gonna be very disappointed in this. Okay. All whole thing. I'll

Laurel: be disappointed in myself. I'm like, I cannot let Paul down.

Poly: don't let Paul down. Don't let Paul down. Yeah. Oh, are we going into mommy? 'cause I can do that shit too. I mean, of course you can.

You can do everything.

Nichole: You could probably do my taxes.

Poly: Okay. Fucking literally, I was a CPA's assistant for, oh my God. I literally do your taxes. Wow. I'm, I'm a Jill of all trades, master of none. But like the, the kinds of jobs that I've had in my world. Obviously I'm a kind of person that doesn't do well with like a, a single job for 25 years sitting in an office.

Uhhuh. So like, I have, uh, had a crazy career of doing a million different things. you know, I was in theater for 20 years, so, oh,

Nichole: duh.

Poly: What, what? No, but there was, there was a little, there was a little bit of Woods room in between graduating from college with a theater degree and actually getting a job in theater.

I worked at Blockbuster. 'cause I'm that level of cool. Yes. I haven't gotten so many marriage or relationship proposals since I worked at Blockbuster. When I worked at Blockbuster, I got so many marriage proposals I

Daniel: to be, to be fair. Were you a goth school girl at that point?

I'm just visualizing like Enid from, uh, ghost World. Mm. Yeah. Oh, for sure. Yes. Yes.

Poly: nailed me completely.

Nichole: Yeah.

Poly: Again, but what I'm hearing is,

do y'all know who Danny Longdon is? Is that what they

Daniel: call me?

Poly: God, you wish you were Danny Long. Don, my darling. I'm so sorry. But you, you are lovely. But you know Danny Longdon, Danny is a trans performer from Britain. Uh, she has an enormous cock, like enormous cock, and she can come over and over and over again, and not just like a little dribble.

We're talking like massive shooting. Wow. Coming. I've filmed two collabs with her. Um, one of them is on both of our OnlyFans. One is filmed but not posted yet. but, it's just fun, you guys.

Nichole: It's just fun. That's amazing.

Poly: Sounds epic. So, yeah. I really wanna do our third one, which is gonna be Battle of the Comers, which is gonna be like a specific one that we're gonna do that I'm, I don't wanna tell you too much, but it's gonna be a, it's gonna be like a head-to-head battle.

I, I mean,

Daniel: if you ever wanna just come on and like, spitball theoretical comic sex scenes, like you, this is the place to do it when you just need to like, discuss, like, is it, is it a dual? Like, is it like a Right, is it like, uh, spaghetti Western soundtrack, you know?

Poly: wha

I think that's it. What Daniel is saying

Laurel: is he really wants to score this film for you. Yeah. I,

Poly: I'm here for anytime Danny wants to score. I beat you. I beat you. I beat you. Every time. Every time. Two finger guns, finger guns, finger

Laurel: guns.

Poly: Wow. Wow.

Laurel: Oh my God. I don't, I don't feel like I've seen Daniel get so beat all of the dirty Joe.

Yeah.

Poly: Oh, I'm

Laurel: so

Poly: happy to beat off Daniel time.

Do you know, do you know who I really wanna be when I grow up? Is Bette Midler from For the Boys? Oh, yeah. She's fucking incredible. And if I could be here, I would, I'm like the Timo Bette Midler, and I'm here for you all. But you know what? I'm the team Bat Midler that will totally fuck herself in front of you, so You're welcome. Yeah. There's catchphrase, my dream girl.

Laurel: Yes. I mean, this is when you buy something from Temu and I'm five nine. Wow. This is when you buy something from Temu and you're like, holy shit. Like this is a steal.

Daniel: five nine.

I'm gonna have to be like two of me in a trench coat in order to get with, with this here. Yeah. Gonna stack you. Shocking. Don't you worry. Don't you worry. I take, I'm gonna take a running jump and go. All Robert Crumb

Poly: on you. I'm gonna, you would not be the first to try and like King Kong me, I'm not gonna lie.

Um, So actually, technically, technically I have a, I have a degree, um mm-hmm. In, uh, theater with an emphasis in acting in playwriting. Actually I was not a costume person in, college. And so my original plan was I'm gonna be a voiceover actor and writer for s Muddy audios. , So I kind of, I, I threw a couple of scripts into the pile, but nothing happened from it.

And so then I kind of connected with this guy on TikTok. He, he did TikTok lives. He was really funny. And he's like, you should do OnlyFans. 'cause like you could do a lot of different things with OnlyFans. And he kind of introduced me to it and kind of held my hands and by held my hands, I mean, he fucking dumbed me into getting the shit done.

That's

Daniel: the kind of life coach, that life coach that you need, right? Yes. Yeah.

Poly: I feel like Doms as life coaches are super underrated. Yeah. Um, this guy got my ass to the gym three times a week for like two hours a day. Uh, I was in the best shape of my life when I was with this guy anyway. Um, no, but he got me started.

He like encouraged me to actually get started. In fact, this Sunday is my one year anniversary of being on OnlyFans. Aw. So like, happy anniversary to me. Yeah. Woohoo. December baby. Oh yeah. It's like Pearl Harbor and my pussy happened on the same day. It's so exciting. Coincidence. So good. I think not, I think not both are up.

Last y'all. Anyway. Um,

Daniel: a lot of good men were lost in both.

Poly: They, I, I would argue that they got lost in Pearl Harbor, but the other ones found themselves

anyway. In your Pearl Harbor, there's the pearl. You gotta find the pearl. You know, most men have a hard time finding pearls. That's why we like the ladies. Right. Anyway. Um, anyway, it's really hard to break into sex work you know, you can't just go like, ta-da, here's my pussy. And everyone's like, oh, scroll. Yeah, scroll, scroll. You know, like, you have to have something that draws people in. Mm-hmm. And, um, I didn't, I never had a niche. A lot of people are like, oh, I'm a foot model, I don't specialize. So I kind of have scattershot, I really appeal to a specific audience of people that want Yeah. A variety of things.

Daniel: the theater background and the Yeah. And the costume design must really allow you to like get into specific characters, right.

Like, because you're a hundred percent, you're, you're, oh, changing persona, like scene to scene.

Poly: Yeah.

Daniel: Yeah.

Poly: Oh, abso it, it absolutely is that I have, I've been training my whole life to be a theatrical slut. Who knew? Like a data point that I, that might be helpful to know is that, , I had a hysterectomy in 2019. Mm-hmm. And I thought that I was gonna go through menopause and I thought it was the end of my life.

Um, I thought I wasn't gonna be a woman anymore without my womb. There's a womb in a woman kind of bullshit.

And when I got my hysterectomy, I, first of all, I stopped getting my period, so fuck you, period. Bye. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Um, and that was like highly recommend hysterectomy. Uh, have two, have three, they're great. Um, Is that on

Daniel: the secret menu?

It's on the secret menu.

Like it's,

Poly: I'll have a hysterectomy animal style, please.

So anyway, um, yeah, so like, I just had this idea that it was gonna like, trigger an early menopause or whatnot, and it didn't, everything was kind of like the same for me. Mm-hmm. Um, and then kind of in the same time period that all of these things were happening for me in terms of like, uh, like bridger tin and all that stuff.

I started going into, I am thinking that it's perimenopause, but instead of having my sex drive lesson, I actually went into kind of a hypersexual mode. Hmm. So I kind of became like a teenage boy

Nichole: Hmm.

Poly: Since then. And like, there was a period of time when it was like really, really bad where like, literally I was having a hard time being in public without just like, picturing fucking, and like everybody in the room, I was picturing fucking them.

Like, as they were speaking, I'm like, wow, I should really focus. Um, 'cause like people have things to say. I'm pretty sure I, I'm pretty sure that guy did not just lick his teeth at me, but whatever, whatever.

Daniel: I'm pretty sure he did. Um,

Poly: yeah, I'm pretty sure

What's really hilarious to me. One of my guys, is absolutely convinced that I am like the sexiest thing on legs, and he's seeing my face so he knows like, I'm all right, but like he is convinced that I can't walk through a grocery store without people like wanting to like beat off behind me as I walk past.

And I'm trying to explain to him how very, very normal I am. Like when I wear clothes and I walk through, like the world turns out people don't fucking notice me at all. I'm just like that 48-year-old mom standing at the like, checkout line

Laurel: i'll

Poly: take off my clothes, I'll take off my clothes, and then my world changes and everyone can beat off to me. Then it changes like, enjoy

Nichole: the world.

Poly: Yeah. Or the better. Yes. Yes. I change the world when the world changes me. Yes. We're all, it's a symbiosis of s muddiness.

Nichole: I really appreciate you talking about your hysterectomy. Oh, yeah. Um, like bodily changes. So like right now I am experiencing something where , I can't be as sexual as I was even just a month ago because mm-hmm.

Of a hospitalization. Right. Okay. And I'm in this fear place of like, I'm never going to be sexual like I want to be again. Right.

Poly: Gotcha. Mm-hmm.

Nichole: And I know that that's not true.

Poly: Yeah.

Nichole: Um, but right now it really feels like my reality

I guess I just, uh, really appreciate your story and I really, really appreciate you sharing it because Yeah.

I know that there's another side to this. I know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. It's just like right now, in this moment, I can't really see that light.

Poly: I appreciate. No, I really appreciate it. ' 'cause like, one of the things about me I often am referred to by, by people that I work with as like a therapist with titties because like, because pe like a lot of the people that are drawn to sex workers are feeling a need that is not being fulfilled in some way.

And a lot of these people, like our sex lives are so tied in to who we are as people.

Nichole: Yeah.

Poly: and that's why, especially with the hospitalization, with, um, any changes in life where you're seeing this, uh, just any kind of shift, any kind of transition can be scary and it can make you feel like you aren't.

Worthy as a person because of this, that, or the other. And I am like, I'm here. I have my arms open and I wanna tell people that they're worthy as people, that I see them, that I'm here for them. Like we can cry together. Mm-hmm. Here's the thing too, is that like, I don't call people clients.

I never call people clients because it never feels like that. I refer to the people that I work with as friends with benefits because it kind of feels like that to me. Yeah. There are people that give me money Sure. But like, I fucking care about them. They're my friends. Mm-hmm. And like, I'm part of their lives and they're part of my lives too. Um, one of, fuck, I'm gonna start crying. No. One of my people that was on my Discord, that was a follower that became a Discord friend, he passed away mm-hmm.

In the summertime. And it felt like I mourned him like any other person that is in my life. And one of the things that really meant something to me is that he disappeared for a couple of days. And I was really scared. Um, this is, well before he passed away, he disappeared and I got this message on his thing and he, and it was like, Hey, um, just so you know, I am the ex-wife of such and such person, and he is in the hospital.

Mm-hmm. And he told me to take his phone and to contact you because he didn't want you to worry about me. Him. No. Like, and this is what's, oh my God. I need fucking, I need tissue, you guys. I did not pack tissues for this trip, you guys, God dammit. Anyway, it was so meaningful to me to feel like I was a true friend to him, and that he cared what I thought and like what I was, that I was worried and I was worried about him.

Yeah. And like in this world, in sex work, a lot of people just don't see us as people.

Nichole: Yeah.

Poly: We're like a sex toy that they pull down from the shelf and they're horny. Mm-hmm. And there are, and there are people who like it that way. There are sex workers who are like, that is my jam. I am your sex toy. Take me off the shelf. Be respectful. Like I do do sessions with people where we're like, we're coming together and all that stuff.

And that is something that I absolutely do. I create content, I create custom content for people so that they can jerk off. I love penises. I love pussies. I love seeing sex. People feel like they can come to me, um, and be themselves, but also like live within their sexuality. Yeah.

Like I was a fucking camp counselor. Add that to the list. Like, and it feels like I'm camp counseling. Yeah. Like in my discord feels like summer camp only with my titties. Yeah. Um, like ev I encourage everybody to get along and I also, one of the things that I really, really draw a lot of is bisexual men.

Nichole: Mm.

Poly: A lot, a lot of bisexual men. Partially because I repost Cox so much and people are like, Ooh, a place for me to go. I have an entire channel on it called Polly's Pricks, and men share their dick pics because where do men share their dick pics safely in a way that's not going to be shitty. Like, I have a space for men to share their dick pics. Yeah.

I just

Daniel: imagine this as a little cute boutique that you would have. Aw, right. Like, all welcome

Poly: to Paul's, all these pricks and it's just welcome to polys. It looks like little

Daniel: pot plants all over the,

Poly: it's, it's polys. Ps it's, it's a cactus farm. Jokes on you motherfuckers. That's my cactus farm. Just kidding.

You

Daniel: know, the more, the more you talk, the more you talk about this, it's not only like, insinuating that sex work in this context is a bit like friendship or can include friendship, but it also makes me think of the ways in which. All relationships have transactional elements and you know, like when we're trying to like, talk about our everyday relationships in a way, in ways that completely divorce them from the transactional elements.

Um, I don't think it's completely honest, you know? Mm-hmm. Like, we give and take all sorts of things from each other as part and parcel to every single relationship that we have. You just happened in these relationships. Like the thing, one of the things that is like being exchanged is money.

, And that's the only difference, you know? Yeah, yeah,

Poly: yeah. Uhhuh and it, and honestly like, and it's not all the difference if you think about traditional, like, oh, absolutely. Traditional marriage relationships, like marriage, like there is a lot of money that changes hands, this is just me being friends with people and if somebody has the means to help support me, then that would be great.

You know what I mean? Yeah. But it's not like, yeah. It's not like I ain't going talk to you until you flip me a five. And what's really kinda magical is I feel like there are people who give me more support because I am not like that.

And a lot of them are just like, I want to help you. Yeah. I want to support your work. I wanna support you. And like the fact that you're supporting your family right now. I stay away from the idea of calling myself a survival sex worker.

Mm-hmm. But I do this for a living. Yeah. This is what I do for a living. But like, I still don't re refer to myself as a survival sex worker because I have a whole lot of fucking privilege in my world.

Daniel: plus saying survival. Sex worker makes it sound like you have a crossbow and you're in camo and shit. Right?

Poly: That's something that is, if I got a crossbo, if I got a crossbo, I would absolutely come.

I'd wear fucking, I'm gonna make this happen. I see the

Nichole: wheels turning. I see this costume of you. You can see it. Yes. You can see it. You can. Oh my God. I'm like, I can see the lights turn on in your eyes. You're like, I'm gonna make this happen.

Poly: I'm like, Uh, I'm gonna be cross bowed out.

It's gonna be like fucking, um, it's like slutty Georgia, the jungle. Um, yes. Georgia, the jungle. Yes. My fake potted plant has never been so attacked.